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Anger is a natural emotion that can be expressed healthily through words or actions, but suppressing it can lead to physical and emotional problems, including depression and resentment. Repressed anger can also harm relationships and intimacy, and may contribute to physical health problems. It is important to handle anger properly and express it in a healthy way.
Even the holiest of souls felt a moment or two or pure rage. In general, people respond to anger in two basic ways. The first is potentially healthier, and is to express it through words or actions, as long as that expression is under control. The second way to deal with anger is to push it in as much as possible and ignore its presence. Suppressed anger might seem like the politest response, but it can be dangerous enough to cause a heart attack or extreme emotional problems.
Most people would classify the range of human feelings into two categories. The “good” feelings are those such as happiness, affection and love. Sympathy, many would say, is also a positive emotional response to another person. At the other end of the spectrum, so-called “unhealthy” emotions include hatred, disappointment, and anger. Indeed, the full range of emotions are neither morally good nor bad in and of themselves. I am simply who I am.
Negative associations with anger are not based on the emotion itself, but on unhealthy ways of expressing it. Lashing out physically or with harsh words might momentarily help someone suffering from anger feel better, but it’s not a healthy expression and can lead to damaging relationships. Equally harmful, however, is repressing anger so that others don’t have to experience it.
Repressed anger is redirected towards the self. By holding back negative feelings, many people feel they are being civil. Indeed, they may temporarily ease what could be an uncomfortable social situation, but little else has been addressed. Holding in anger can quickly lead to depression or feelings of resentment. Over time, anger can contribute to physical health problems; in fact, many researchers suggest that there is a link between repressed anger and some types of cancer.
Anger is the manifestation of a sense of power, and when handled properly, it can be a healthy and positive response. Anger arises when an expectation or desire is frustrated. It can explode unexpectedly or grow slowly as disappointment adds to disappointment. Unexpressed anger is often the result of feeling powerless; it seems that expressing anger is useless, and therefore a person avoids it.
In fact, there are a number of good reasons why suppressing anger is a bad idea. In addition to compromising physical or emotional health, repressed anger can also get in the way of healthy intimacy. Holding in anger is not the same as healing it; in fact, anger that has been filled cannot be healed. True intimacy is built on honesty and trust, and anger that is disguised as something else is, essentially, the kind of lie that can ultimately destroy feelings of closeness.
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