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Compassionate people empathize with others while taking care of their own needs, while codependent individuals prioritize others’ feelings over their own. Codependency is linked to a lack of personal boundaries and low self-esteem, while compassion is a virtue that respects personal boundaries. Codependent individuals may lack compassion for themselves and seek approval from others.
The difference between compassion and codependency centers on how a person sees themselves. Compassionate people possess the ability to empathize and sympathize with the suffering of others while taking responsibility for their own needs. Codependent individuals put the feelings of others before themselves, putting their own needs aside to serve someone else. An accepted theory links compassion and codependency to setting boundaries and respecting the limits set by others.
Codependent people typically do not establish personal boundaries for themselves and may not recognize boundaries set by others. Their behavior is based on sacrifice and a perceived obligation to help others solve their problems. They usually work to protect others from the consequences of the behavior and do things for others that they are capable of doing for themselves. Compassion and codependency could be explained as opposites, because compassionate individuals control their own lives and allow others to do the same.
When a person doesn’t set personal boundaries, or if they aren’t sure about them, they may not feel safe. He may have a strong need to help someone, despite his unmet needs. Codependent people commonly navigate to people who need rescuing and protection. They need to be needed and may suffer from low self-esteem.
A person who cares about their own needs and well-being can feel empathy for others without sacrificing personal boundaries. He may possess the ability to help someone, without expecting anything in return, because the compassionate person typically respects the personal boundaries of others, allowing them to make their own mistakes and develop coping skills. Compassion is considered a virtue valued in various religions as a human effort to end suffering.
Some psychologists believe that how people develop the traits of compassion and codependency depends on whether they promote their own growth. Those who take personal responsibility for their own happiness are usually able to feel empathy for others in a healthy way. People with codependent personalities may lack compassion for themselves, making them unable to give true compassion to others.
Signs of codependency include a desire to make others happy and keep the peace, no matter what. A codependent person may believe that others owe him and resent him as he tries to correct his own deficiencies. He generally wants others to like him and will do whatever it takes to get approval, even if it means neglecting himself.
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