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Common bathroom euphemisms?

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Euphemisms for using the bathroom have existed since early indoor toilets were called closets. Today, terms like “powdering your nose” or “visiting the little girl’s room” are polite, while “WC,” “lavatory,” and “john” are common. Vulgar terms for bodily functions also exist.

In the 1940s novel Cheaper by the Dozen the eleven children often have to make various stops on trips to “go see Mrs. Murphy,” a polite euphemism for having to go to the bathroom, related to early bathrooms called closets. One child invariably fails to go, and the children are soon going to see Mrs. Murphy again, much to the frustration of their efficiency-savvy father. Today, euphemisms abound for functions performed in the bathroom or just being in the bathroom.

Going to the bathroom is actually a euphemism, more closely related to how women might say they need to “powder their nose.” Toilette is the whole set of women’s clothing, hair and makeup. To do or complete one’s toilet is to finish dressing. So the toilet for the bathroom was understatement, at first. Also, bathing is euphemistic as it involves bathing rather than purging.

Now, since we call the commode a toilet, it’s not often referred to as such in polite company. Instead people may ask for the direction of their toilet, or sometimes the toilet, implying that they wish to rest or bathe. Neither toilet nor bathroom suggests that the room contains a place for people to complete the basic bodily functions of urination or defecation.

Since implying that one might actually need to use a toilet is pretty crass, there are a number of other euphemisms to discuss the need to go to the toilet. A common term was WC, a polite shorthand for toilet bowl. This term comes from early American and European indoor toilets, often called lavatories.

In England the bathroom is more commonly called a lavatory, and in Europe the expression Room 100 is used. Both Americans and Europeans might use the john, and those in the UK might use the jakes. Although now obsolete, expressions like necessarium, the necessary house and the wardrobe were once popular.

Today, in company, women can “powder their noses” or visit the little girl’s room. Polite men might apologize for no reason so they can use the bathroom, or they might suggest that they go to the bathroom. Indeed, in many schools, children simply ask to be excused and do not refer to the bathroom in any way.
In other cases, children are taught to ask to use the bathroom, again suggesting that they use a toilet to bathe. The lavatory and, more commonly, the latrine were used by members of the military.
Terms for the actual uses of the toilet abound. These tend to be more vulgar, as they refer to the actual functions of the body. Clinking or watering the lawn suggests urination. Doing the number one or two suggests exactly what one did in the bathroom. You even see the reference to bowel movements now as BM. Other euphemisms for bodily functions are now so common that most people can probably name five to ten. These euphemisms tend to be more vulgar in nature and don’t stand up to repetition.

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