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Dutch psychologists studied the effects of awkward silences on conversational dynamics and found that a four-second silence can trigger negative emotions and damage self-worth and belonging. The person who caused the silence feels anxious and less confident, while others feel distressed, fearful, hurt, and rejected. The researchers suggest identifying the source of the comment and moving on instead of trying to fill the silence.
It happens to everyone. You’re having a free and easy conversation with friends, and then someone says something that brings everything to an awkward halt. This sort of social faux pas intrigued Dutch psychologists, so they studied the phenomenon to analyze its effect on conversational dynamics and the human psyche. What they found is that this moment of silence, often about four seconds long, is enough to trigger “feelings of rejection and negative emotions” in people. The study, reported in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, concluded that awkward silences can damage “feelings of self-worth and belonging.”
Four seconds of emotional limbo:
The researchers conducted experiments in which they measured students’ reactions to awkward silences. Unsurprisingly, the person who slips up feels anxious and less confident.
Additionally, the researchers found that people who experience awkward silence also feel “distressed, fearful, hurt and rejected.”
The psychologists didn’t recommend trying to fill an awkward silence, but instead suggested that participants try to identify the source of the conversation-breaking comment and then move on.
