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What’s a familiar stranger?

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A familiar stranger is someone seen often but not interacted with, creating a unique relationship. They can be assigned fictional stories and nicknames, and may interact in extraordinary circumstances. Familiar strangers are more common in urban areas and less likely in small, close-knit communities.

A familiar stranger is an individual who is seen often, usually but not always in the same environment, but with whom one does not interact. The relationship that exists between familiar strangers is a topic of interest in sociology because there is some sort of relationship even without interaction. A familiar stranger can be a classmate, someone you often see at the gym, someone who sits nearby on the subway, or one of many other people you see repeatedly. The “relationship” between these strangers arises from the mutual decision not to interact despite being regularly close to each other. Familiar strangers are often more closely tied to one’s perception of a particular place than they are defined by particular characteristics of people.

The non-interaction aspect of the family relationship with the stranger can end if the strangers meet far from their normal meeting places. Individuals who regularly see each other at the laundromat, for example, may interact if they meet while on vacation somewhere away from home. Also, disasters or other extraordinary circumstances may cause you to interact with a familiar stranger. Familiarity tends to provide some level of support and comfort in unnerving or frightening circumstances.

It’s quite common to assign a fictional story and nickname to a familiar stranger based on their appearance and demeanor. Doing so tends to make you feel a little closer to the familiar stranger and has a personalizing effect. If familiar strangers eventually meet, each can explain the details of fictional characters that applied to each other, often to the effect of great mutual amusement.

Familiar strangers are more common in some types of communities than others. In particularly small groups, such as private schools, small businesses, and small, close-knit neighborhoods, it is relatively rare for the familiar stranger to remain a stranger for an extended period of time. The small size of the community makes interaction very likely and can also make detachment and intentional avoidance of interaction a little rude. In such communities, it is possible to have some form of minor relationship with almost anyone, and the small size of the community makes some form of interaction almost inevitable.

In dense urban areas, on the other hand, most everyone is probably a stranger to someone else. The sheer number of people one may encounter on a daily basis makes meaningful social interaction with each person nearly impossible. Even attempting to initiate social connections in these densely populated urban areas can often be seen as irritating and rude.

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