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Emotional insecurity, stemming from childhood experiences, can lead to low self-esteem and affect interpersonal relationships. While some insecurity is normal, excessive insecurity can result in compensatory behaviors. Therapy can help reduce feelings of insecurity and improve relationships.
Emotional insecurity is the feeling of having low self-esteem. Most people have some level of emotional insecurity and can be more or less insecure depending on external circumstances or mood. Insecurities can stem from previous experiences and usually begin in early childhood, finding reinforcement as a person grows into adulthood. While some level of insecurity is normal, emotionally insecure people may have developed ways to deal with their insecurity that may make it difficult for them to relate to others in healthy ways.
According to some psychologists, a healthy sense of self-worth develops throughout a person’s infancy and childhood. Young children whose needs are attended to readily develop the emotional attitude that they deserve safety, protection, and the satisfaction of their wants, while children whose needs are not met question whether they deserve to have those needs met. While this theory doesn’t explain all cases of emotional insecurity, many people’s insecurities appear to stem from early childhood events. Once this pattern of thinking is initiated, reinforcement for the belief is sought, resulting in the accumulation of further evidence of unworthiness to meet the needs, while ignoring evidence to the contrary.
Some emotional insecurity is considered normal, as no one grows up having all their needs met as they arise. These insecurities can lead to doubts about a person’s abilities or anxiety about interpersonal relationships. For the most part, people are able to overcome their own insecurities and live relatively normal lives, especially when they are able to understand and accommodate the insecurities of others into their lives.
While everyone has some emotional insecurity, some people are so insecure that it interferes with their ability to interact with others in a healthy way. Insecurity can lead to shyness and a desire to withdraw from society. It can also manifest as behaviors that compensate for and mask feelings of low self-worth, such as aggression, arrogance, and a need to dominate others. A person may exhibit any or all of these behaviors to varying degrees, depending on the level of insecurity.
Emotional insecurity is normal, but in many cases it’s undesirable. People who want to overcome their insecurities often work with a therapist to pinpoint reasons why they feel like they don’t deserve to have their needs met. By working through these issues, people can reduce their feelings of insecurity and begin forming healthier relationships.
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