Abuse & self-esteem: what’s the link?

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Abuse can cause low self-esteem, particularly in children who may unconsciously seek out abusive situations as adults. Emotional abuse can be more damaging than physical abuse, and therapy is essential to regain normal self-esteem. Combating low self-esteem can prevent a person from being abused altogether.

Abuse and self-esteem are linked in many ways, but the most common connection is that abuse can cause low self-esteem. The actual connection between abuse and self-esteem can manifest itself in a variety of ways, and often an intermediate level of causation is involved. Unfortunately, resolving the abusive situation does not always restore self-esteem to positive levels, as the effects of the abuse can be permanent. Depending on the type of abuse, various therapies may be appropriate to reduce the links between the abuse and self-esteem.

One of the most common ways that abuse and self-esteem are related involves children. Abused children typically have low self-esteem and may never have had the opportunity to develop the personal skills needed to maintain a positive self-image. Low self-esteem can be one way to identify abuse, although this quality alone is not sufficient to indicate abuse. Unfortunately, abuse and self-esteem may be linked for the rest of the child’s life, to the extent that the child will unconsciously seek out abusive situations as an adult due to low self-esteem.

For abused adults, self-esteem may be lower when in an abusive relationship. Physical abuse can cause low self-esteem, but emotional abuse is often far more damaging to a person’s self-worth. Emotional abuse often occurs over long periods of time, and the victim may not even know they are being abused. Patterns caused by emotional abuse can be much more difficult to identify and remedy than those caused by physical abuse because they are more subtle.

When abuse has occurred in a person’s life but they do not recognize or remember that abuse, the harmful effects can still cause low self-esteem. Patterns that develop during the time of abuse may continue even if the abuse is not remembered. Therapy is essential to developing skills to regain normal self-esteem, and seeking therapeutic help for low self-esteem may even reveal a history of abuse or current patterns of abuse.

Sometimes this connection between abuse and self-esteem is reversed, and some people claim that people with high self-esteem are less vulnerable to abuse than those with low self-esteem. This may be true, but the reasons why this is true are often very complex. For example, abusers tend to prey on people with low self-esteem, but people with low self-esteem also tend to believe they don’t deserve to be in a loving relationship. Combating low self-esteem is important for health and can prevent a person from being abused altogether.




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