Approval addiction is when someone prioritizes the pleasure of others over their own needs, which can lead to poor choices and negative behavior. It can be caused by low self-esteem or past trauma and can be life-threatening if surrounded by toxic individuals. Therapy is recommended for those suffering from this addiction.
Approval addiction is a term used to describe a condition in which someone puts the pleasure of others above their own needs. This can have a profound effect on a person’s happiness and can sometimes lead to poor choices and wrong behavior if the person is surrounded by “toxic” individuals who engage in harmful activities. The term is used to describe both those with a medical condition and a less severe form of “pleasant people”.
Similar to alcohol or drug addiction, those suffering from clinical approval addiction need the “high” or “feel good” effects to make others happy. Doing for others is not in itself a bad thing, but it becomes a problem when providing for the needs and wants of others comes before one’s own. Sufferers of this condition often neglect themselves and give everything from time, money, possessions and loyalty to others above all else. This is always a problem, but it can become life-threatening if people in the sufferer’s life engage in harmful or risky behavior and encourage them to do the same.
There is generally a more traumatic underlying cause that leads to approval addiction. This can range from low self-esteem to emotional or physical abuse. Just like those who self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, approval addicts need the love and adoration of others to feel worthy. The need for everyone’s approval leads to self-sacrifice and abandonment of the true self in order for the addict to “become” what everyone else expects or wants.
Anyone suffering from an approval addiction should seek the help of a licensed therapist. As with other addictions, therapy generally involves discussing any past events that may have led to the addiction and developing healthier ways to deal with unpleasant feelings. Therapy can be tiring and can bring up painful situations, but the end result is the ability to live more authentically.
Without treatment, patients can continue to live in denial of who they really are. The consequences of this vary based on the severity of the condition, but can include feelings of worthlessness, unhappiness, depression, and even suicidal thoughts or behavior.
Those with a much less severe form of approval addiction, commonly known as “kind pleasures,” may have many of the same problems as those with a clinical addiction. Therapy can also benefit these people, although sometimes devices such as self-help books or tapes combined with supportive friends or family members can cure minor forms of the condition.
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