Gossip can damage relationships and reputations. To prevent it, be careful with private information, avoid gossiping, follow social rules, and confront gossipers if necessary.
Being the subject of gossip can be a frustrating and upsetting position. Whether created by actual actions or malicious rumours, gossip can seriously damage relationships, reputations and group dynamics. While nothing can completely stop a person from becoming the butt of gossip, following some basic precautions can help reduce the likelihood of the situation occurring. Don’t share too much information with people you don’t know you can trust, avoid gossiping and think about how your behavior might appear to others.
One of the most important ways to stop or prevent gossip is to be careful with private information. Sharing problems or concerns with friends and family is healthy and understandable, but it’s important to only disclose private information to those you can trust to keep quiet. If a relative or friend is known to have a gossipy tongue, it may be best to keep conversations with him or her on topics that are polite and appropriate for the public. It can also help conduct private business in appropriate venues only; having a shouting argument with a spouse on the phone at work is sure to inspire dialogue among coworkers.
Many etiquette experts cite the old maxim of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” when discussing the gossip problem. Developing a reputation as a gossip risks leaving a person exposed to the same treatment; others may feel less inclined to protect the private information of a person known for spreading rumors and tales. By refusing to engage in gossip at work or in social circles, a person can help develop an atmosphere in which that kind of talk is unwelcome. Earning a reputation for being prudent and respectful can lead to the same behavior in others.
While this may not always be possible or advisable, one of the best ways to avoid becoming the subject of gossip is to adhere to society’s rules. Most gossip involves actions that are considered scandalous, immoral, or inappropriate in some way. The choice to challenge social tradition may be necessary in many situations, but it will tend to get people talking. While most etiquette experts emphasize that it is important to stick to personal principles regardless of society’s rules, a general attempt to follow customs and standards can help reduce the possibility of becoming the subject of gossip.
Unfortunately, some victims of gossip are innocent or defamed bystanders, caught in the trap of other people’s outrageous behavior or false rumours. In this case, your only options may be to confront the shameless talkers in an attempt to shame them by their behavior, or to simply ignore the situation. The outcome of any of these tactics may depend on the situation; confronting gossipers can simply add fuel to the fire in some cases, while in others it can make gossipers feel sorry enough to stop their behavior.
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