Dealing with bullies is complex and requires caution. Confronting them directly can be effective, as many bullies prefer intimidation over actual violence. Some bullies are victims of abuse themselves and may respond to empathy. Workplace bullying should be documented and reported to prevent costly lawsuits.
Life for a victim would most likely be much easier if there really was a simple and reliable method of dealing with bullies. Unfortunately, the bullying issue can be much more complicated, and a tactic that would work well in one set of circumstances may not work as well in another. When it comes to bullies, a victim often has to try any number of things to get rid of a bully, or at least level the playing field. Some methods of dealing with bullies can provide quick results, while others may take time to take full effect. There are some ideas, however, that would have little or no effect on the bully but could definitely affect the victim’s health and well-being. When dealing with bullies in the schoolyard, home or workplace, it pays to be cautious.
One way to deal with bullies is to confront them directly, essentially calling their bluff. For many bullies, the act of intimidating a victim through threats of violence is far more rewarding than using actual violence. The last thing a bully really wants is to get into an actual fight with a victim, since the bully has no real idea of the victim’s abilities and motivations. When a victim decides to stand her ground and call on the bully to carry out her threats, she often realizes that she has lost the power to intimidate. All that’s left to do is deal with an angry victim who has little to lose in a physical confrontation. There’s a good chance a bully will retreat or find a different victim if confronted directly.
Some bullies are actually victims of abuse themselves and are simply acting out or mirroring the abuse they have witnessed elsewhere. If a victim could establish an empathic relationship with an abused bully, then the ongoing situation could be defused without resorting to violence. Some bullies don’t fully understand why it’s wrong to physically assault another student or co-worker, since they grew up in homes where domestic abuse was the norm. By recognizing a bully’s violent tendencies as a result of a broken family or physical abuse, a bully’s target may be able to negotiate a truce by showing genuine empathy.
Incidents of workplace bullying should be thoroughly documented and reported by victims. A supervisor or manager who consistently harasses their staff or intimidates subordinates through physical and/or verbal abuse could ultimately cost the company millions of dollars in lawsuits, so a victim of workplace abuse would pay back to their employers job a great service to report a bully in the workplace. Documenting all bullying incidents in a private journal can demonstrate a pattern of abusive behavior if the matter reaches the level of a court hearing. A workplace bully often counts on employees to value their employment too much to risk filing a formal complaint, so there may be strength in numbers when it comes to workplace bullies, too.
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