Proper etiquette in a restaurant includes basic table manners, proper use of napkins and utensils, and appropriate dress. Gentlemen should help ladies with their chairs and wait for all guests to be served before eating. Silverware settings should be followed, and napkins should be placed on the lap and left side of the plate at the end of the meal.
Etiquette in a restaurant is a little different in some very specific areas from etiquette at a private dinner party at someone’s home. For the most part, however, the largely same rules apply in both situations. Basic table manners, such as sitting up straight, keeping your elbows off the table, and chewing with your mouth closed are a must. Proper use of napkins and utensils is also an important part of haute cuisine etiquette. A person’s choice of clothing should also be carefully considered.
When people dine in a casual setting, dress is far less important than it is at an elegant meal. In a relaxed atmosphere, T-shirts, jeans, shorts or trainers might be appropriate. In general, that type of clothing is not considered fine dining etiquette.
Instead, women may want to wear a tasteful dress or an attractive pantsuit. Men may want to wear slacks, a dress button-down shirt, and a jacket. Indeed, many high-end restaurants have very strict dress codes, sometimes requiring a man to wear a jacket or sports coat.
Good dining etiquette should be observed even before there is a discussion about food. If a gentleman takes a lady to dinner, for example, he should help her by pulling out her chair so she can sit down. He may then help her by gently pushing the chair forward until she is in a comfortable position at the table. Once she is seated, then she may also sit, as long as there are no other women in the group who are still standing.
If a woman gets up for any reason, such as when she would like to use the ladies’ room or powder room, the men should get up as well. In other words, if she’s standing at the table, she should be too. Once she retires to the ladies room, however, she is free to sit there until she returns. When he approaches the table, she should get up again and he could help with her chair.
When the waiter arrives at the table and is ready to accept dinner selections, in some cases a gentleman may ask a lady for permission to order them. If you accept the offer, then you can proceed by ordering your own meal before making your selection. Otherwise, it’s polite to allow all the women at the table to place their orders in front of the men.
When courses are brought to the table in a restaurant, it is impolite to start eating until all guests in the group have been served. When an elegant dinner party is presented in someone’s home, however, guests should observe fine dining etiquette by waiting for the hostess to collect the silverware to eat before someone else begins their meal. In some cases, the hostess may request that guests start eating before her, in which case it’s okay for others to do so.
On-site silverware settings are typically set so that guests can easily determine which fork goes with each course. A simple rule of thumb is to start with the fork and knife furthest from the plate and work inward. For example, your salad fork will usually be placed further away from your plate, so your dinner fork will be placed closer to it.
Before the meal begins, dinner napkins should be spread neatly across the lap. If a guest feels the need to remove something from his mouth during a meal, he should be transferred directly from his mouth to the napkin. This should be done as unobtrusively as possible so that other guests cannot glimpse the contents of the napkin. At the end of the meal, the napkin should be placed on the left side of the place, partially folded. The utensils used for each course must remain on the plate for which they were used.
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