It is not appropriate to ask for wedding gifts in the US, but couples can suggest items through a registry. It is rude to request cash gifts, except for financial help with the wedding. The European tradition of a bridal purse is an exception, but should be practiced carefully.
In the United States it is never appropriate, according to marriage etiquette, to ask for a wedding gift. Married couples assume they are likely to receive gifts, and as such tend to register to make suggestions to well-wishers about their wants or needs. Certainly money is a nice wedding gift, but it is one that cannot be requested under most circumstances.
There are some exceptions. A couple could ask for financial help to pay for a wedding from the parents of the bride or groom. Usually this help is offered, or it is assumed that it will be offered. Traditionally the bride’s family finances the wedding and reception, while the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. The couple should not expect an additional wedding gift from parents who pay for a wedding.
What tends to annoy those who specialize in wedding etiquette is that some couples specifically request a wedding gift to fund a honeymoon or pay for a home repair project. Such a request for a cash wedding gift, especially in an invitation, is considered quite rude and is likely to offend most people attending.
Instead, etiquette experts recommend planning a wedding accordingly and giving it financing that will also allow you to make a honeymoon or use the necessary funds for projects. With careful budget planning, the amount spent can be reduced and therefore guests can be treated to a beautiful wedding, without being accused of planning a wedding to receive a wedding gift of money.
Another exception may exist in the cultural tradition known as a bridal purse. This is a typical European tradition, and is still observed when most guests understand the tradition. In such, the bride carries a silk purse and can circle around the guests. Willing guests give the bride checks or cash to fill the purse.
When this tradition is observed, the bride and groom usually do not register for other gifts. However, this tradition should really only be practiced when you can be sure guests won’t take offense or consider begging for alms. It’s okay for some friends to be unaware of the tradition, and their failure to provide a wedding gift of cash shouldn’t be taken as offensive. It is bad etiquette to inform friends of the tradition in advance unless asked.
Therefore, if a bridal purse is part of one’s cultural tradition, the invitation should still not include a request for a wedding gift of money. Instead, it is assumed that the people attending the wedding are aware of the tradition and don’t come away empty-handed.
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