Dealing with a controlling partner depends on the level of control in the relationship. Communication is key, but the root of the behavior may be due to parental examples or past relationships. If the partner is unwilling to change, it may be necessary to walk away. Control in relationships is unhealthy and can have long-term consequences.
How you deal with a controlling partner really depends on how much inappropriate control is in the relationship. Many relationships have an ongoing power struggle running through them. Each partner may be trying to be the dominant partner in the relationship. Experts have thought that this power struggle is caused by blurry gender roles in today’s society.
One way to deal with a controlling partner is to find out why they are exercising this control. It may be due to parental examples that were shown as children. If one parent is seen as more dominant than the other, this pattern can become ingrained in the child. As adults, they may subconsciously mimic this type of control.
Another possible reason for a controlling partner’s behavior can be found in previous relationships. If a previous relationship ended due to a lack of trust or some form of cheating, this can continue into future relationships. A controlling partner may not realize that she is controlling to the extent that it is detrimental to the relationship.
There are many ways a controlling partner can exercise control. It can take the form of a simple continuous phone call to the partner to check on him. It can take the form of verbal abuse and constant arguments. If left unchecked, it can often lead to physical abuse and domestic violence.
The first step to take with a controlling partner is to establish communication. Your partner should be aware that this form of control is not acceptable to you. This should be discussed early in the relationship to allow the controlling partner to understand that her behavior will not be tolerated.
Unfortunately, in many cases the controlling partner will not agree to behave in any way out of the ordinary. Previous partners may have accepted this form of behavior; if a controlling partner has not been confronted before about her behavior, she may not see anything wrong with this type of behavior. When the problem is brought up, the controlling partner may become angry and defensive. The anger he displays is also a form of control, as he wants the conversation to stop and not be discussed further. If he’s not willing to discuss the issue, there may be no alternative but to walk away from the situation until your partner is willing to discuss it.
The problem of controlling behavior in relationships is widespread. A relationship is based on mutual trust and respect. If one partner is trying to control everything the other partner is doing, it is an unhealthy relationship. The behavior can have consequences in future relationships and, if children are involved, it can influence how they view relationships in their later lives.
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