Couples Counseling: What is it?

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Couples counseling is a form of relationship counseling aimed specifically at people involved in romantic relationships. Both married and unmarried couples can seek couples counseling, and there are different approaches to couples counseling. Many communities have directories of counseling services that may include couples counselors, and individuals seeking counseling can also seek directions from doctors, regular therapists, and members of the clergy.

The goal of couples counseling is to understand the couple’s relationship dynamic and identify areas of tension and frustration that add stress to the partnership. In a series of counseling sessions that often include private and group sessions, the couple can explore their perception of the relationship, their expectations of each other, and the situations that might make them feel alienated from each other. The counselor acts as a mediator and facilitator to keep discussions on track and to steer the conversation to specific points.

Every relationship is different, and everyone has different expectations of romantic relationships, so it should come as no surprise to learn that couples counseling can be very different. A devoted Christian couple, for example, might have very specific needs and wants that an unmarried atheist couple might not relate to, but relationship counseling is available to both couples, sometimes even from the same therapist. In all cases, confidentiality is an important part of couples counseling, and the counseling is also usually non-judgmental, with the goal of frank discussion of emotions in a supportive environment.

When choosing a therapist, the couple should do some research. For example, many religious couples may receive couples counseling from a member of the clergy, and this may be the most appropriate form of relationship counseling, as the counselor understands the couple’s mindset and the specific issues they face. Other people may be better suited to meeting with a psychologist, therapist, licensed counselor, or psychotherapist. Many therapists are happy to provide background information about their counseling approach and experience, and this information can be used to select the best match. Sometimes, it takes a few tries to find the right fit, and couples should remember that couples counseling can take weeks or months of work and is rarely completed in one session.

Couples counseling requires the work of both parties. While one person can initiate counseling sessions, without the cooperation of all involved, counseling will not be very productive. It can also take a lot of effort, and while that effort can be rewarding, it can be very frustrating while counseling is in progress. Making a commitment to finish a set streak before deciding to opt out of couples counseling is a great idea, as couples often find that once they reach a mutually agreed upon end point, they want to continue with counseling.

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