Dealing with an abusive parent depends on the person inquiring. Professionals mandated to report abuse face specific rules, while average citizens should avoid direct contact and report to child protective services. Direct intervention is only recommended if the child’s life is in immediate danger. Children and adult children of abusive parents should seek help from trusted adult sources and may benefit from working with a therapist.
The question of how to handle an abusive parent depends on the person inquiring. For some professionals such as teachers, therapists and doctors, who are mandated by their government to report abuse, there are specific rules on how to make a report. For them, not reporting abuse can be criminal. The person who is not required to report abuse faces a different set of problems because while there may not be specific laws that require action, allowing the abuse to continue can be unreasonable and sometimes direct and immediate action is needed.
This latter group, made up of average citizens, definitely needs advice on how to deal with an abusive parent, even if generally the first guideline is to avoid direct contact with that parent. For safety’s sake, people need to consider whether doing anything directly could cause personal harm. An abuser, after all, physically abuses a child. That person must be seen as a potential danger.
Unless the average citizen knows the child’s life is in immediate danger, direct intervention is not recommended. The best approach, if the person knows who the abuser is, is to contact local authorities, usually agencies such as child protective services, and report the abuse. Reports are generally anonymous.
Often, investigations cannot fully establish a child’s abuse. If the abuse continues after an investigation is concluded, individuals should contact a child protection agency again. Unfortunately, it can sometimes take several reports before the abuse is fully established. Remaining vigilant and calling the police during any further cases of abuse can be helpful.
In circumstances where the abusive parent is currently threatening the life of a child, probably the best first response is to call 911 police services. Subsequently, personal intervention to stop the abuse may be warranted. People should keep in mind that such an intervention is not without potential physical risks or could escalate a parent’s action toward the child.
Those employed as stenographers are legally required to report any reasonable suspicion of child abuse. In these cases, they contact the police or child protective services directly. If the child is in their care at that time, they may have the right to detain the child, but they cannot necessarily prevent the child from leaving with the abusive parent.
Very little is done to ‘manage’ the abusive parent and the main focus is on helping the child. Direct confrontation with the parent is typically avoided. The main goal is to bring in an agency authorized by law to take action and remove the child from a suspected abuse situation, as the investigation progresses.
The matter is different if the person asking this question is a minor or adult child of an abusive parent. The child is the most vulnerable, and whether the abuse is physical or verbal, that child needs help from trusted adult sources. It is highly recommended that children speak to authority figures such as teachers, counselors or ministers for assistance. Getting help in an abusive situation is a brave and difficult thing to do.
Even adult children of an abusive parent may have difficulty seeking safety and peace. Since the abuse has likely occurred since childhood, it’s hard to break the mold and get to a mental place where parental abuse is considered wrong. Adults who have been in these circumstances need help and, rather than initially confronting parents directly, may benefit the most from working with a therapist. People are usually advised to leave the home where the abuse occurs if they are still living with difficult parents.
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