Dealing with toxic co-workers?

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Even in the most harmonious workplaces, there are likely to be an employee or two who threaten that harmony. Toxic coworkers can come in the form of supervisors, department heads, secretarial workers, or anyone else who is assigned some role in the office or other place of business. Learning to recognize and deal with toxic co-workers is not only essential to keeping your job, but also your peace of mind.

The first step in dealing with toxic coworkers is learning to recognize them. In some cases this is easy to manage. When a co-worker is very sincere in criticizing others’ efforts or obviously revels in spreading rumors, it takes very little in the way of discernment to realize that the individual is a divisive force in the happy bunch. However, a toxic coworker can be much more subtle, sometimes hiding criticism in language that on the surface seems to convey concern and affection. While the words can be sweet, the result is gossip and innuendo that can undermine the reputation and trust of others. Look for the results of the individual’s actions, as well as how those actions are instigated, and it will be much easier to determine who is at the root of discontent in the workplace.

Once you have a good idea of ​​who is spreading dissent and mistrust, start isolating yourself from reacting to the actions of toxic coworkers. This means not allowing yourself to be visibly affected by the subtle criticisms and barbs that are thrown your way. While you’re seething on the inside, stay calm and professional on the outside. Realize that now may not be the time to confront the bully and allow yourself time to cool down. Once you regain a more balanced state of mind, it will be easier for you to determine how to deal with and diffuse the situation without contributing to the problem.

Dealing with toxic co-workers requires you to try to view the situation as an uninvolved third party. It helps you to set your own emotions to one side and assess the situation in a more clinical way. This is really helpful as you can notice some small details that allow you to get some ideas as to why the co-worker is so negative. Figuring out the root cause often makes it easier to develop a strategy that minimizes the negativity and possibly helps the co-worker gradually change their attitude and become part of the team.

Remember that not dealing with toxic co-workers rarely works. Trying to ignore the issue is more likely to encourage toxicity, as the co-worker may interpret silence as agreement with your negative statements and behavior. Confronting the co-worker and thus providing some degree of resistance is sometimes enough to make them feel that perhaps there is a different way of seeing and doing things in the workplace and to start challenging their own perceptions.

When confronting toxic coworkers, always use an approach that doesn’t involve returning fire. Instead, ask questions that encourage the colleague to think of solutions to the problems he or she is talking about. The idea is to shift the coworker’s focus from negative thoughts to participating in creating a better work environment. This may come as a shock at first, and there is likely to be resistance. Over time, consistently asking for information on how to make things better can begin to bring about small but noticeable changes in the way the toxic coworker interacts with others.

In some cases, no amount of reasoning or trying to turn the bad attitude into something more positive will work. This is especially true when toxic co-workers get a lot of joy out of damaging the reputations of others. Prepare documentation related to these toxic activities and confront the sender directly. Make it clear that unless things change, the activity will be reported to a manager or supervisor who can take action.

Make sure you are aware of company policies or existing relationships between the toxic colleague and upper management that could be used against you. For example, if the negative influence in the workplace is a relative of the business owner, you are likely to be the person disciplined and possibly exonerated from the job. If such a situation exists, remain as calm as possible while looking for employment elsewhere. Removing yourself from that kind of hopeless situation will minimize the strain on your nerves and allow you to move into a situation where you have a better chance of being happy with your workplace.

Asset Smart.

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