Ego and pride can be difficult to differentiate, but ego is often selfish and based on exaggeration, while pride is based on accomplishments and qualities. Ego can lead to arrogance and hurt relationships, while pride leads to confidence and can be focused on others. Ego can be positive if based on reality and not controlling.
Because ego and pride are often linked and their definitions are so similar, it can be difficult to figure out exactly how they are different. An easy way to tell them apart is this: Ego is quite selfish and often has no basis in facts, while pride tends to be less selfish and is typically based on the facts of a person’s accomplishments and qualities. Some people think of ego as self-respect, and while it can lead to a sense of self-respect, it all too often leads instead to arrogance.
When a person has genuine ability in a particular field, that could be a source of pride. Instead, however, the person may begin to feel that he is the best at it and that no one else is or ever will be worthy of working with him; he may feel this way regardless of whether there is actually any truth to perceptions of him. Pride would make this person feel happy about his abilities and successes, without having to be the best or the only one capable of achieving. It leads to confidence instead of arrogance.
Ego and pride can also differ in strength. Often times, the ego is easily hurt while true pride is harder to shake. For example, ego often comes into play in dating situations. A person’s ego can be hurt when a love interest suddenly becomes disinterested or criticizes certain physical attributes. If a person feels true pride in the things that make them unique, however, they may feel disappointed, but their confidence won’t take a severe hit; the ego is so fragile because it is often built on exaggeration.
The two also differ in their effects on relationships. A person’s ego can cause them to behave chauvinistically, to set aside another’s attributes, or to refuse to date someone they feel is beneath them. Often, these behaviors are rooted in hidden insecurities. The ego can mask them but not make them go away. If the person has real attributes to be proud of, however, their insecurities may lessen or at least become less pronounced.
Another difference is that pride can also be focused on others instead of being self-obsessed like the ego. For example, a person’s ego may make him think that his children are the best educated; after all, how could she have rude or crass children? Instead, pride can focus on the things that are special about her children. For example, she might be proud of them for holding doors for other people or volunteering at a soup kitchen. A person may even feel proud of a wide variety of other external things, including their employer, neighborhood, or country.
It is important to note that the ego is not all negative. Ego is simply how a person sees himself. If a person’s ego has a solid basis in reality and doesn’t allow him to control his life, it can actually be good for his self-esteem to have both an ego and a pride.
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