Etiquette and good manners are important for functioning in society, but they involve different skills and vary from culture to culture. Good manners involve general behavioral guidelines, while etiquette is a specific code of behavior. Both are based on treating people with respect and being sensitive to social situations. Learning manners from an early age is important, while etiquette requires specific lessons. Knowledge of both is never wasted and can be advantageous in the future.
Etiquette and good manners are both essential for functioning in society. While both of these concepts involve rules of behavior, they are slightly different and involve different kinds of skills. They also vary from culture to culture, as standards of conduct are heavily based on tradition and cultural heritage. The main distinction between etiquette and good manners is that the former includes specific rules of conduct, while the latter is more generalized.
Good manners involve general behavioral guidelines, such as treating elders with respect and courtesy. Etiquette is a specific code of behavior, with an example of etiquette being knowledge of the proper way to address a queen, which is, incidentally, “Your Majesty.” In some societies, people consider etiquette elitist and unnecessarily refined, but in reality this is not the case. Many of the rules of etiquette are already practiced by people with good manners, and a demonstration of familiarity with good manners will mark someone as cultured and polite company.
Typically, people are taught good manners from an early age so that they grow accustomed to basic rules of conduct about appropriate behavior in social situations. Children learn, for example, that it’s not polite to stare, make personal comments, or put down the choice of food at dinner. In childhood, people usually absorb lessons about how to treat others and how to behave in a variety of situations. Manners often become second nature when taught at a young age.
To learn etiquette, people must take specific lessons, rather than learning by example or through gentle correction. Rather than learning general rules about how to behave at dinner, someone would learn specifically which utensils to use when, how the table of precedence works, and how to politely dispose of unwanted foods. Etiquette training also involves how to approach presentations and how to behave in numerous settings, from funerals to shooting parties.
Both etiquette and good manners are based on basic grounding principles which include treating people with respect, being sensitive to social situations, and making other people feel comfortable. People cannot learn etiquette without being taught manners, which sets the stage for the rules of etiquette. Formal training in etiquette can be obtained through finishing schools, where an instructor guides people through the rules of etiquette, or by reading texts dealing with etiquette and manners in particular societies.
Knowledge of etiquette and good manners is never wasted. Someone with an awareness of manners and formal etiquette will be remembered, and this may work to their advantage in the future. Employers, for example, are more likely to be impressed by well-mannered applicants who are familiar with the forms of business etiquette for a job opening. Good etiquette training also prepares someone for any situation, allowing them to approach anything with ease.
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