Sending flowers to a funeral home or family’s home is common, but it’s important to consider the family’s wishes. Some suggest donating to charity instead. Strangers should be cautious about sending flowers, as it can be overwhelming. Consider waiting until a significant milestone to send flowers.
It is rarely considered bad etiquette to send flowers to those who have recently lost loved ones, but there are some circumstances where a different gesture may be more appropriate. Many people send flowers directly to a funeral home for viewing during actual calling hours and the memorial service, but others may choose to have flowers sent to the family’s home several days later. Many of these floral arrangements are placed on the grave as a final keepsake of the deceased, while live plants may be kept in the family home for some time.
Before ordering flowers for a grieving colleague or friend, however, you may want to ask about the wishes expressed by the family. A number of families suggest that donations to a favored charitable organization should be made in lieu of flowers. The specific details of such a request are usually included as part of the funeral announcement placed in a local newspaper. This doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t send flowers as a gift separately from the requested charitable donation.
The days following the loss of a loved one are often a blur for grieving family members, who must deal with a private loss while also dealing with a very public outpouring of support from strangers. When friends, distant relatives, and co-workers give flowers or prepare food, the attention can become overwhelming. There are some bereavement experts who suggest that strangers shouldn’t send flowers as an automatic response, because some families aren’t emotionally equipped to care for live plants during a difficult time. The death of cut flower arrangements can become another painful reminder of the fragility of life.
If you still want to give flowers to someone mourning the loss of a loved one, you may want to wait until enough time has passed for the gesture to have meaning. A bright floral arrangement filled with the deceased’s favorite blooms might be welcomed during a painful first milestone, whether it’s a birthday, holiday, or anniversary. You may also want to send flowers directly to the grave site on occasions when the family can gather in remembrance.
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