Couples can register for gifts for their second marriage, but guests are not obligated to give them. Couples with financial stability can politely decline gifts or suggest donations to charity. Expecting gifts is considered bad manners, but it’s reasonable for a first-time bride to receive gifts. Gift information should be disseminated by family and friends, not included in invitations.
In general, it’s considered perfectly acceptable for a couple to register for wedding gifts if it’s their second marriage. While it’s acceptable, according to most etiquette experts, people attending the remarriage ceremony are in no way obligated to give gifts. Especially when these people have already attended a first wedding, a wedding present has already been given. A wedding gift in life can only be modestly expected from a person.
Many couples entering into a second marriage are already better off financially. In fact they may own two houses and a variety of household supplies. If the couple doesn’t want to receive gifts, they can say so politely on a wedding invitation. Alternatively, couples can write that they might prefer a donation to a favorite charity over wedding gifts. Couples still have to abide by the rules, however, not to expect gifts.
However, a second marriage for one fiancée could mean a first marriage for another. For example, if a woman marries a divorced man and this is her first marriage, the woman’s family and friends should reasonably be expected to give gifts. The registration can be made known to all those who wish to celebrate the woman’s marriage by selecting a gift for her and her new husband. The groom-to-be, on the other hand, shouldn’t expect gifts from her family, nor should her bride.
In reality, expecting gifts during a second marriage, or the first for that matter, is considered bad manners. No one is ever obliged to give a gift, even if it is customary to do so. Generally participating in the second marriage ceremony obliges you to bring or send a gift unless the couple specifically requests gifts. The bride and groom, however, should be absolutely amazed at receiving the gifts and not treat them as payment for guests attending a wedding.
Registering gifts for a first or second marriage is an unobtrusive process. Wedding invitations that contain gift-list information are not a good idea. Only when the couple is solicited for information, can they reveal their registration information. Bridesmaids, groomsmen and family members are excellent at disseminating this information, and remain information and not a request for a gift.
While good manners dictate not asking for gifts, most people expect couples who are embarking on their second marriage to register for gifts. Most people reasonably expect to give a gift on a second marriage and are helped by information about what the couple might like. So it is both common for wedding guests to bring a gift and for couples in their second marriage to register for them.
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