Halloween can be scary for some kids due to costumes. Parents should honor their fears and avoid situations where they may encounter scary costumes. Schools can eliminate scary costumes, and younger children can attend events where they are prohibited. Encourage the child to dress up in a non-scary costume and allow them to dictate their level of participation.
For many kids, Halloween is an exciting day, but for some kids, especially toddlers, and even some older kids, it’s scary because of scary Halloween costumes. Some are gory, others just plain creepy, and make some kids feel extremely uncomfortable, or even terrified to the point of crying or refusing to participate in traditional Halloween activities. For these kids, Halloween is a nightmare instead of fun.
It’s important if you have a child who is afraid of scary Halloween costumes, or other Halloween trappings, to honor that child’s fears. In most cases, you won’t be able to mock the child to make him less afraid, or to push the child’s fears away. Trying to drag a frightened child through trick-or-treating is to no avail. Instead, allow your child to talk about his fears about him as much as he wants and don’t put him in a situation where he will encounter the most feared things.
In schools, especially elementary schools, you can help by working with the school PTA or parents’ organization to eliminate scary costumes. Because schools have a diverse age population, with some four-year-olds and some twelve-year-olds, it’s very easy for older children to choose scary Halloween costumes that are more off-putting than some of the younger children. At parent organization meetings, standards can be set, although this will not completely avoid all scary Halloween costumes. Yet you can at least rid the school of macabre and bloody customs.
Another option for the younger child who has a hard time with scary Halloween costumes is to take them to events designed for younger children. Schools, day care centers, churches or community centers may sponsor events where scary Halloween costumes are specifically prohibited. Many offer fun festival activities or trick-or-treating so that Halloween can be enjoyed in a fun rather than a scary way. Some churches offer safe trick-or-treating called log-or-treating. People decorate their cars and many of them wear biblical costumes. While your child might see some trick-or-treating buddies dressed up in creepy Halloween costumes, the focus is on far more benign costumes.
This problem can be complicated when you have a child who is fearful of his older sibling’s choice of costume. In particular, you need to observe sibling interaction, ban scary costumes on anyone in the house, and make sure older children aren’t teasing the younger one about fears of him. If you’re a single parent, try to get your older children to date another mom or dad in the neighborhood so the child’s fears don’t destroy the fun of the older children by building resentment. In a two-parent household, ask a parent to stay home with the child who is afraid of scary Halloween costumes.
You can encourage the frightened child to dress up, and you may direct the child towards costumes that offer magical or superhero protection. Sometimes, a child who is Superman or a friendly witch is a little more inspired by their costume to face their fears. In this case, allow the child to dictate the degree of participation she would like to have in Halloween events. If he just wants to go trick-or-treating in a house or two, let him know you’ll take him home as soon as he wants. If the child wants nothing to do with the holidays, honor him and never force the issue. Fears aren’t rational and can challenge your plans, but forcing a frightened child into this problem is likely to create more fear rather than less.
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