If your child reports inappropriate conduct by a teacher, it is important to be involved immediately. The way you handle the situation depends greatly on the type of inappropriate conduct involved. For example, if a teacher scolds a student, you will follow a very different path than if the child reports sexual or physical abuse.
For the situation where a child reports inappropriate behavior by a teacher such as yelling, or where students simply say things like “the teacher made fun of me in class”, you might first try talking about such behavior with the teacher. Often children have a distorted perception of events that happen. A statement like “I was punished for nothing” must be taken with caution. Statements like “He’s only mean to me” could mean many things.
Since it is difficult for a child to function well in a class where they feel disliked or unfairly targeted, going to the teacher and listening to their version of an incident is a helpful first step in resolving the issue. In this process, try to remain calm. It is likely that adding your anger or frustration to the problem will help you less, since you will be considered unreasonable.
Often a parent hears a very different story and perception from the teacher than they hear from the child. Deciding which or if both perceptions are partly correct can help you decide what further actions might be necessary. If you sincerely believe that your child and the teacher seem to evade or admit inappropriate behavior, it is time to involve the school administrators.
If this is the second or third incident you have tried to resolve, however, and you believe your child is telling the truth, going to the teacher first may not be the best solution. Instead, you might want to report the teacher’s continued inappropriate conduct to the school principal. You might also want to make a request, where it seems that a situation will not be resolved, to transfer a child to another class. Sometimes, the best teachers and the best students are not suited to personality. When this is the case, your child, the teacher, and the class may be served by requesting a transfer, if possible.
If a child reports behavior that implies contact, sexual conduct, sexual innuendos, or physical violence, going to the teacher is not the best choice. In this case, you should not even want to report first to the school administration. For safety reasons, you may not want to send the child back to school until the matter has been fully investigated. If you really suspect conduct that breaks the law, your first stop should be the police department.
You can, if you feel supported, also inform the administration, but there is a risk here. The administration may not believe you and may tip off a teacher or ask some questions that would alert them. This can give the teacher the opportunity to escape before investigations begin. These incidents are rare, compared to the vast number of teachers, but they do occur, even with the best screening. Informing the police first is your best course of action, as they can immediately begin an investigation and gather evidence from your child, and perhaps other children, while memories are still fresh.
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