Fear of rejection is a common problem rooted in an evolutionary tribal social impulse. It can be socially debilitating and make people less confident. Visualization and focusing on the benefits of acceptance can help reduce the fear.
Fear of rejection is a relatively common problem. Most people have experienced the fear of rejection at some point in their lives, and it’s not particularly unusual for these fears to overwhelm people and become socially debilitating. Many experts believe that fear of rejection is rooted in an evolutionary tribal social impulse and, in this sense, could be as much a primal fear as fear of a dangerous animal. Being rejected in primeval times could have been devastating to a person’s state, which could be potentially dangerous in that environment. That danger may have created evolutionary pressure toward developing a natural fear of rejection.
For many people, the possibility of being rejected can seem incredibly daunting – dealing with rejection can be almost as scary as dealing with physical danger. In cases like these, it can be difficult for people to view rejection objectively and they often lack the ability to put things into perspective. For people in this situation, it can be helpful to ask someone else to outline the real likely consequences of a potential rejection so they can be compared to the person’s imagined worst-case disaster scenario. This can sometimes help people avoid being frozen by their fears.
When people fear rejection, it can sometimes have the effect of making them seem less confident, and because of this, fear can actually have self-fulfilling results. Some people find it easier to deal with rejection once they realize that their fear is actually increasing their chances of rejection. Once people gain some confidence, their rejection rate will often drop significantly and this can also be self-reinforcing in the same way that fear is self-fulfilling.
For some people, visualization can be a helpful strategy for dealing with rejection. There are many exercises built around this type of therapy, and most of them involve visualizing a situation where fear of rejection would normally arise. The person will focus on visualizing themselves overcoming their fear of her and receiving a positive outcome. With repeated use, this type of therapy can gradually reduce a person’s fear in their daily life.
Another helpful strategy for some people is to stop thinking about the consequences of rejection and focus on the possible benefits of acceptance. For people generally motivated by negatives, this can be a helpful way to turn the tables. Sometimes it allows them to see things in a different light, allowing them to better understand the ways rejection might be holding them back.
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