Receiving gifts from people who are not born shoppers can be a mixed bag. Sometimes, an anxious shopper will give you something exceptional, and other times you might receive something you absolutely hate. It is always important to keep in mind that it is the thought that counts. The gift should be received with grace, and the person giving it should be thanked.
This may differ slightly in close relationships, such as with a spouse, particularly if a spouse’s gift-giving ability has been questioned in the past. Perhaps your spouse insists on getting you tools, or a wife only gets her husband socks. Where money is not an issue and where couples have had time to discuss gifts in the past, expectations for a slightly better one may arise.
When this does not happen, struggles can occur over the insensitivity of the gifts. Some couples simply stop giving each other anything because it causes outbursts or hurt feelings. One way to avoid this is to present each other with lists of possible gifts. Couples might want to agree that they can only exchange things from their lists. Although this may take away some surprise from an occasion, it also eliminates the sting. Each member of the couple gets something they would like, rather than something they would gladly throw out the nearest window.
When the issue has not been discussed in advance, receiving gifts you hate should be met with gratitude, even when you don’t feel it. Perhaps grandma will always choose that powder pink shade for you, or maybe a new boyfriend genuinely thought his gift was just what you would have loved. Grant the person the benefit of the doubt, especially if it is a first offense.
Sometimes, some gifts are not only unwanted but also inappropriate or offensive. A boss who gifts underwear, for example, is crossing the lines established for appropriate workplace behavior. In these cases, it is definitely appropriate to return the offensive gift to the giver, with a statement that you cannot accept it or that it would make you uncomfortable to accept it. This can help prevent sexual harassment or at least stop the person in their tracks.
Gifts made by friends that perhaps contain offensive language or are designed to insult can also be returned to the friend or the store if you have a receipt. They do not require thanks if they are inappropriate. You can, if you want to be polite, thank the giver while returning the gift and say that it really cannot be accepted. No further reason is necessary.
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