“Irish twins” refers to babies born within 12 months of each other. It can be challenging for parents due to similar needs, lack of alone time, and exhaustion. Planning, support, baby supplies, and alone time can help. It’s important for parents to take breaks and care for themselves.
Irish twins is a derogatory name that refers to the fertility of the Irish or their adherence to Catholic birth control laws. Essentially Irish twins are babies born within 12 months of each other; some people extend it by a few months and the phrase “two under two” is also used. Clearly there is a lot of advice on how to handle the extra parental work involved in raising siblings who are so close in age.
From a health standpoint alone, having Irish twins is not wise. Most obstetricians advise women to wait at least a full year after birth to conceive again. What this potentially means for the mother who has children so close in age is that she can expect to be physically exhausted by the time she gets to the parenting part. Even before baby No. 2 is born, she is managing the needs of a baby as her body deals with the rigors of pregnancy. This brings up the first suggestion naturally; for the best parenting, women should have a support system that gives them opportunities to take breaks. Ideally this system should be in place before the second child is born.
One of the challenges of having Irish twins is that, especially in the early years, the children will have similar needs and may have them at the same time. It’s quite possible that both babies need diaper changes, need to be fed and etc, at the same time. While breastfeeding, this challenge might be especially difficult, because the mom is essentially bonded to the youngest baby for 15-20 minute periods, several times a day. This would suggest that one thing needed when raising Irish twins is planning.
At night or in the morning before babies wake up, make sure you have things that can be obtained quickly: bottles of breast milk or formula for babies or toddlers, snacks for toddlers, wipes for quick cleaning, diapers for quick changes , fun toys that will keep your child entertained. The easier things get, the less a parent has to work or stop caring for a child to give it to another. Even with these plans, it will be necessary to occasionally ignore the needs of one child to help another. Clearly, parents should treat this as triage; meet the needs of the neediest child and then move on.
It can also be helpful to have a way to carry the younger child around while attending to the older child’s needs. Perhaps one of the most useful things for this is a baby sling. These take some getting used to, but provide an almost hands-free way to complete other tasks, and as baby grows, they can transition from lying to sitting on their side. On the subject of baby supplies, another good investment is a double stroller, which is an easy way to get parents and children out of the house for needed breaks.
One thing mentioned by parents of children close in age is the challenges that come with getting everyone to sleep at night. It can be especially difficult to get the older child to sleep if the younger one wakes up and cries. Suggestions here might include using white noise. Others solve this problem by making sure the kids aren’t sharing rooms, and yet other parents recommend sleeping with both kids, in which case they should sleep on both sides of a parent and not together.
Another issue at hand for children so close in age is the minimal alone time they may need to spend with both parents. This is really necessary and can help fuel their development. Provided there is help around the house from friends, relatives, or others, it’s a good idea to schedule regular alone time with each child. Ideally both parents should plan for this. While these children are often thought of as “twins,” they certainly aren’t, and spending this time alone together helps reinforce each child’s understanding as a separate and wonderful individual. Giving this time can also reduce sibling rivalry.
Finally, raising Irish twins can be difficult, and exhausted parents are much more prone to making bad decisions and losing their temper. However possible, the parent still needs to feed into itself and stop the process. Again, having some support help is usually the best way to get it. Consider the possibility that the parent who is able to enjoy the occasional relaxation is likely to be a better parent the rest of the time, and look for ways to schedule in time to be kind to yourself.
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