Children may hate school due to social ostracism, learning challenges, or difficulties functioning in the environment. Parents should talk to their child and work with the school to address these issues. Finding out what is causing problems and seeking assistance from teachers or principals can help. Friendship clubs, playdates, and pairing with another student can help children make friends. Children with learning disabilities or attention deficit disorders may need Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) to address ongoing problems.
Many children say they hate school and may ask or beg not to go. This may be a sign that your child is having trouble making friends, has trouble with other students, or has learning disabilities. Talking to your child and working closely with the school can help reduce a child’s dislike. Children may not always like going to class, but as issues are addressed, it may feel like a less threatening place. Also remember that a child is unlikely to respect a school or its teachers unless you pay them due respect too.
Children may dislike school for very good reasons. These can be divided into three categories: social ostracism, learning challenges, and difficulties functioning in the environment, such as with children with hyperactivity. All of these reasons should be taken seriously and investigated. The first thing a parent needs to do is find out what is causing problems at school. He talks to the kids first and lets them explain any problems. When the children can’t give you enough information, she talks to the child’s teachers, as many have many ideas about what might be causing difficulties.
A child who has no friends, for example, may find school a very lonely place. If your child is unable to make friends, ask for assistance from a teacher or principal in pairing your child with another person who may need a friend. Schools also often receive new students, and a friendless child might volunteer to be a “tour guide” for a new student in her class.
Many schools have friendship clubs that can help a child learn ways to be a good friend. Often, kids who attend friendship clubs end up becoming friends while practicing new social skills. Alternatively, new skills can be exercised on longtime classmates. Parents can make it easier to arrange playdates in the afternoon or on weekends for children to experience friendship in a less competitive environment.
In some cases, a child dislikes school due to teasing or bullying. Even though most schools have zero tolerance policies on such behavior, unless the teasing is directly observed, it may not be obvious to teachers or staff. Finding out from a child if there are one or more kids making life difficult can help put an end to bullying. It’s important to stay proactive about this and continue to report any returning instances of bullying or teasing behavior.
Children who have trouble keeping up with academics may also say they hate school. It must be very difficult for a child to realize that everyone else seems to be able to understand things that escape him. Answering questions incorrectly or getting low grades is a good indication that the child is challenged, perhaps too much, by the curricula.
Poor overall performance in school and on standardized tests suggests children may have learning disabilities or learning differences. If a child’s performance has declined, you should ask your child to be tested for learning disabilities. When any disabilities are identified, assistance from the school can lead to a more positive attitude.
Children with attention deficit disorders often find the very act of sitting still challenging and difficult. Also, a teacher may inadvertently make a child’s dislike of school worse by repeatedly calling attention to the problem or punishing the child for lack of concentration. Often, such punishment means inaccessibility to things like playtime, the only chance the child has to burn off the energy that keeps him from sitting still.
Being aware of attention problems is important for the parent because it can help the teacher arrive at a system of rewards, rather than punishments, for behavior. When a child is diagnosed with any type of learning disability, schools can develop specific plans, called Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) to address ongoing problems.
Learning disabilities and short attention span can lead to social ostracism. Therefore, a child with academic problems may also have fewer friends. Unfortunately, even children often judge other children not only for how they behave now, but also for how they behaved in the past. So allowing your child to have a first chance with new schoolmates is ideal, since these students don’t have years of accumulated memories about the child.
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