Gifted children are defined by high IQ, early development milestones, and exceptional skills in areas such as reading or math. They may also show hypersensitivity, intense curiosity, and social challenges. Motivation to learn can vary, and fear of failure can lead to anxiety. Testing for giftedness is not definitive and all children are special in their own way.
Any discussion of gifted children should probably start with the statement that all children are special in one way or another. Every child is unique, and every child will bring joy and challenge to a parent. What defines being gifted in the most common usage tends to refer to a high IQ, learning skills such as reading much earlier than other children, or showing a special penchant for a certain artistic skill. A child like Mozart, for example, composed music before the age of five. Other children may have extraordinary perception of math skills or simply do well on standardized tests. Being gifted has numerous definitions, and it’s important to remember that a child who doesn’t meet the specific criteria is just as special as one who does.
For the sake of standard definitions, we can examine some aspects of the gift. The child may reach developmental milestones in infancy much earlier than their peers. For example, some babies are fluent by six to eight months or learn to walk and crawl long before their first birthday. Your child may be learning to read, count or do math long before they reach school age. IQ tests normally show the child to be extremely gifted with an IQ above 140. Children with an IQ between 120-140 can be considered moderately gifted.
Young, gifted children can also show hypersensitivity and be hard to please. They can get frustrated or bored easily, and because they often think outside the box, they can find many new and creative ways to cause danger to themselves. These children tend to show intense curiosity, absorbing new knowledge like a sponge.
Some children may show an interest in philosophical questions. They may be very sensitive to hearing the news and may be more disturbed by news describing suffering or death. They often have intense fears and may show an excessive “existentialist” interest in death.
The gift can be limited to one area of development. A child may be an early reader but exhibits poor gross motor coordination, taking longer to learn to ride a bike. They can also resist activities that they can’t do well right away. Since many children are praised for these special qualities, they may have anxieties that they aren’t performing perfectly and will refuse to do things they can’t do well.
Some gifted children are also socially challenged. If they have advanced vocabularies and interests, relationships with their peers may be boring for the child. It’s not unusual for a gifted child to struggle with forming friendships, because their active minds are often identified as having learning disabilities such as ADD or ADHD. Generally, these children aren’t truly hyperactive, but their attention span may not be held by grade-level material.
While most gifted children are motivated to learn, they may only be motivated to learn about the topics that interest them. This can also lead to boredom in class, which is actually beneficial for the child. Teaching such a child to work outside his area of interest and meet the requirements of a school or home is a valuable life lesson.
Other gifted children are extremely motivated to learn and excel. Fear of failure can lead to anxiety and self-criticism can be very high. Even a supportive parenting environment may not prevent the child from having very strict standards regarding personal performance. Pushing your child to excel can be just as damaging because it never allows him to learn by failing, or to understand that failure is a necessary part of life.
A child can be tested for talented qualities; in some cases three- or four-year-olds are tested for talent. The results of these tests will fall within the defined parameters of the test center. Even if a child is not considered gifted by one test, he may be considered gifted by another.
However, if all tests show that a child is not gifted, you as a parent may still see your child as special. He or she has his or her unique qualities and will gift the world with his or her individual perspective. Many parents find these reasons enough to consider their children wonderful and special.
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