Debate surrounds whether parents should let their babies cry or comfort them immediately. The argument for letting babies cry is that it teaches them self-soothing skills, but opponents argue that it could lead to neglecting a child’s needs. Parents should trust their instincts and read up on different methods to find what works best for them and their baby. Crying is a natural way for babies to express themselves, and it can be beneficial for emotional relief.
There is considerable debate as to whether you should make your baby cry at night or for a short time during the day. An old wives’ story was that babies had to cry a certain amount of time each day to help them expand their lungs. This is not true and normally developing children tend to have healthy lungs. Instead the core of the debate about whether or not to make the baby cry is whether you are creating addiction and inhibiting his ability to learn ways of self-soothing.
Proponents of parenting methods that suggest you should let your baby cry tend to range from those who strongly believe that you should never comfort a crying baby to those who take a more middle-of-the-road approach. Some of the advanced arguments for allowing babies to cry include that, especially at night, babies won’t sleep through the night or have sound sleep as they get older if they don’t learn to go back to sleep on their own. This is a bit harsh since babies can cry for many different reasons.
Such reasons include hunger, boredom, wet clothes, an uncomfortable tummy, or fear. If your baby is bored, it might not be a bad idea to let them cry for a few minutes to see if the baby will settle down. However, most young children look for certain things when they cry, such as food or relief from discomfort. You can’t always know what a child needs unless you monitor the child. Crying over a wet or messy diaper, hunger, or the need to burp should all be addressed, and it’s a good idea not to make your baby cry if he’s expressing a clear need.
There are many books that discuss the cry method for teaching babies to learn to sleep. Many of these have exceptions when you think the baby is crying because of some need you need to meet. You can certainly try these methods and determine if it feels right to make your baby cry. It’s important to go with your gut, and if it doesn’t feel right, acknowledge that there is another school of thought on whether or not to allow babies to cry.
This second school of thought is that babies cry for reasons, and ignoring this crying could mean ignoring your child’s needs. If parents want to cultivate strong bonds with their children, the last thing they should do is abandon them in their time of need. Picking up a child who is also crying from boredom or loneliness can teach him that asking for help is a good idea and that he has full parental support. This may not lead to children who are overly dependent, but instead can encourage independence as children grow with full parental support.
These schools of thought are often in direct opposition to each other. Parents who use one method or another often vouch for that method, which can certainly confuse new parents making this decision. It might really help to read up on how to cry and baby comfort methods to see how you feel. Also, you may decide to try one method and then the other if one method doesn’t seem to work.
If you let your baby cry for a few minutes while you take a shower or go to the bathroom, is it harmful forever? No! Most babies cry and some even cry after you pick them up. This is the only way a young child should express themselves, and some parents get very good at understanding what each cry means. There is also some psychological importance to encouraging crying as an emotional relief. Trying to stop a baby from crying might convey the idea that crying is unacceptable under any circumstances, and psychologists would argue that the ability to cry in later life can be of significant benefit to most people.
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