Obsequious means being overly eager to follow, obey, and serve, often with negative connotations. It comes from the Latin “to follow” and originally had positive connotations. Obsequious behavior can be common in some professions, but it can also be viewed negatively. Different cultures have their own versions of obsequiousness and tolerance levels for it. If accused of being obsequious, examine your behavior and ask for specific examples.
The word “obsequious” is used to describe someone who is almost pathetically eager to follow, obey, and serve. It is often used pejoratively, suggesting that someone has rather sycophantic tendencies that are obnoxious and sometimes embarrassing. Most people try hard to avoid being submissive, finding ways to express condescension that are more subtle and less intense than subservience, although in some cultures this subservient attitude is considered socially acceptable.
This word comes from the Latin ob, which means “to” and sequi, “to follow”, so the word literally means “to follow”. The term appears to have entered English around 1300 and at first referred to dutiful service. The earliest incarnation of the word was typically used flatteringly, praising people who were ready to serve. By the 1500s, however, the word had acquired its modern meaning of servile and servile, and today it has decidedly negative connotations.
Many people associate excessive flattery, flattery, and shoe-licking with modern obsequiousness. The implication is that someone is humiliating themselves to please someone else, and in many cultures even people who tolerate obsequious behavior are viewed negatively. Instead of simply being polite, submissive, and happy to serve, someone who is obedient crosses the line, demonstrating behavior that can be unpleasant in its intensity.
In some professions, obsequious behavior can be very common. Some waiters, for example, are accused of being obsequious, and striking a balance between being obsequious and simply providing attentive service can be difficult for many people in the service industry. For service industry workers, part of the problem is that different people have different personal thresholds for obsequiousness; for example, one person might be annoyed by a waiter who is constantly checking drinks for the table, while someone else would appreciate this gesture.
If someone suggests that your behavior is obsequious, you may want to examine the way you behave, especially around superiors such as bosses. If you’re confused as to why the label has been applied to you, you may want to ask for specific examples, especially if you live or work in an unfamiliar culture, as different societies have their own versions of obsequiousness and their own levels of tolerance for it.
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