New fathers have the opportunity to be more involved in raising their children, which is beneficial to them. To prepare, they can read parenting books and attend classes. Supporting the mother is important, and criticism should be discussed. Parenting can be stressful, but being involved can increase confidence and strengthen the parental bond.
If you are about to become a new father, you have many things to learn and many ways to be involved in the process of raising children. Gone are the days when dad paced the floor of hospital waiting rooms instead of being present for their baby’s birth and only occasionally disciplined while mom did most of the work. The modern father has the opportunity to be much more active in raising his children, which psychological studies repeatedly show is of great benefit to children.
While your partner is pregnant, you can start preparing to be a new father. There are two important ways to contribute to this early stage of authorship. The first way is to learn to be parents. Read books your partner is reading, like What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and read some books about baby care, like The BaBook by William Sears, who spends a lot of time talking about how fathers can be supportive and involved in the go. If you’ve never taken care of a baby before, it can help to attend some parenting classes that will teach you the basics like how to take the temperature, how to change a diaper, and how to burp a baby.
As a new father, when your baby is the firstborn, one of the most important jobs you have is caring very well from your baby’s mom. Especially if the mom is breastfeeding, she needs an environment that is totally supportive to minimize stress and help maintain milk supply. Take over most of the normal chores and some of the new baby chores as well. You can’t breastfeed, but you can burp, cuddle, and change some of the diapers. If the mother does not intend to breastfeed, both parents can take turns breastfeeding the baby. Early experiences of being physically close to your baby will help you bond with the baby and establish a pattern of care that can serve your parent-child relationship for life.
Note that some new moms tend to be very critical of new dads. If your partner is already pretty judgmental about how you do basic household chores, you should discuss it before the baby arrives. New fathers often experience anxiety about getting things right, and a great deal of criticism can discourage them from staying involved.
Try to deflect criticism about being a new father, as long as you don’t do anything to harm the baby or stress the mother, and stick with it rather than give up. This is your child too, and you should have the right to be a fully engaged parent right from the start. If this becomes a point of contention between you and your partner, seek counseling to help you resolve these issues.
A new father should know that parenting can be joyful but also very stressful. Both new parents are concerned about how they are doing, and when a baby cries for hours at a time, or when things seem very tense, it can feel like you’ll never be a parent. It tends to be more stressful for the father who is less involved and only occasionally inserts himself into the process. If you are part of a team that comforts your baby, always holds him and takes care of his basic needs, your confidence will increase and you will learn that periods of stress tend to be temporary.
These early experiences of being with your child on a regular basis are the glue of a parental bond. You have the opportunity to really get to know your children by spending lots of time with them from the moment they arrive. Don’t miss out on this experience, which can enrich your life and that of your children.
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