Nonviolent Communication: What It Is

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Nonviolent communication (NVC) is a method of communication that encourages people to express their needs in a non-confrontational way, promoting empathy and understanding. It involves active listening and neutral language skills, and has been used to successfully resolve conflicts on a global scale and improve interpersonal relationships. However, some critics question the effectiveness of the approach and suggest that some of the techniques may appear manipulative.

Nonviolent communication, or NVC, generally implies that people are free to convey personal needs in a non-confrontational way that evokes empathy, listening, and ultimately satisfaction for all parties. Developed by an American psychologist in the 1960s, nonviolent communication typically includes observation, feelings, needs and requests, or OFNR, for short. Facilities around the world offer courses in this method to improve communication skills. As a tool for peace, the approach has reportedly provided a means to successfully resolve conflicts on a global scale, as well as improve interpersonal relationships.

Instead of verbalization which usually equates feelings with accusations and needs with requests, nonviolent communication generally operates on the premise that all people are of equal importance. It requires active listening combined with empathy, which usually involves listening not only to what another person is expressing verbally, but also trying to understand the circumstances that might produce a particular statement or behavior. This non-threatening form of communication is designed to encourage freedom of expression to a degree that naturally produces understanding and a willingness to cooperate.

In emotionally charged situations, individuals often lash out, in anger or grief, causing the recipient of these behaviors to react defensively. Nonviolent communication classes teach people specific techniques and neutral language skills. Eliminating factors that produce anxiety and stress can break down the barriers that hinder communication and problem solving. Once an individual perceives that others are making the effort to genuinely listen and understand, a relationship of trust is formed. People usually feel less guarded about expressing needs or requests.

This method of communication has reportedly been implemented in restorative justice programs. Using this approach, convicted criminals could confront victims, family members, or other individuals in hopes of creating healing and reconciliation for all. Under these circumstances, inmates usually receive nonviolent communication training before any encounters.

Not everyone is a proponent of this method of communication, citing ambiguities in the thought processes behind the concept. NVC generally expects individuals to express feelings without manipulation, but critics suggest that some of the techniques appear manipulative. Some also question the effectiveness of a philosophy that suggests that the perception of empathy is more important than actually being understood.




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