Oversharing, or sharing too much personal information, has become more common with the rise of social media and personal blogs. It can be a result of an underdeveloped social filter or an attempt to create intimacy, but it can also negatively impact relationships and boundaries. It’s important to develop a sense of fairness and avoid sharing too much with those who don’t expect it.
With the growing popularity of social websites and personal blogs online, the potentially dangerous practice of oversharing has become much more common. Oversharing is the act of sharing too much information, or TMI, with people who aren’t necessarily prepared or qualified to receive it. Telling a coworker that you don’t want a piece of birthday cake may be acceptable, but adding in the fact that you’re on a diet to lose 50 pounds would be oversharing. There are some personal facts that others may not need or want to know.
Some excessive shares are the result of an underdeveloped social filter or “close button”. Different people may have different ideas about what constitutes oversharing or TMI, so they may not realize they are making others feel uncomfortable. A recent mother may feel comfortable sharing intimate details of the birth process with co-workers, for example, without realizing how unpleasant she may seem to others. Once you cross the oversharing line, it’s often difficult to erase those images from other people’s minds.
Other times, oversharing may be an attempt to break the ice socially or create a shortcut to intimacy. By sharing a few small awkward moments with strangers, the overshar lets others in the group know that it’s okay to let your guard down and be more open. This form of oversharing may have some immediate benefits, but there are still limits that should not be crossed. A lighthearted revelation about an embarrassing childhood memory may be fine, but an intimate confession about a marital affair would definitely qualify as oversharing.
Using oversharing as a social shortcut to intimacy can be a dangerous practice, especially if the relationship is designed to have natural boundaries. An employer shouldn’t share personal details with an employee, for example, because their relationship implies a level of mutual respect for the employer’s authority. Violating that division through excessive sharing can negatively impact those boundaries.
One reason some people feel compelled to share too much with strangers or co-workers is an underdeveloped personal network of close friends. Those with few personal friends or empathetic relatives may view their co-workers or even complete strangers as extended family. While it might not be acceptable to spill too much information to strangers, it might seem acceptable to share too much with coworkers over lunch or the friendly cashier at a local restaurant. Some people perceive a level of intimacy that doesn’t really exist, but the illusion may be preferable to reality.
While oversharing may be perfectly acceptable as a social icebreaker, it’s generally a good idea to develop a sense of fairness to avoid sharing too much personal information with people who don’t expect it.
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