Proper dining etiquette is important but can be overwhelming. Arrive on time, don’t sit across from the host, wait for the host to start eating, and use good posture. Follow the lead of others and apologize if you make a mistake.
Knowing proper dining etiquette is important, but it can be difficult to remember all the rules. Trying to learn them all, especially before an important dinner party, can add even more stress to the situation. Fortunately, most of the rules are common sense.
Proper table etiquette begins before the meal begins. You should always arrive on time, preferably ten minutes early. Don’t be late unless it is absolutely unavoidable. If so, be sure to call your host as soon as possible to explain the problem. Don’t wait to call until you’re already late. Once you get to the table, it’s impolite to sit across from your host, unless you’re invited to do so. In a restaurant, it’s okay to just sit down.
Don’t start eating, or even picking up your utensils, until your host does. Keep track of which glasses and utensils are yours. Your drink should be set to your right. The best way to remember it is Bevi bene – Drink. Baskets of bread or other food will go to your left. It is impolite to let used utensils touch the table. They should be placed on the side of the pot when not in use. Use good posture and don’t rest your elbows on the table. Some sources say it’s okay to place a hand on your lap when not in use, but others say it’s rude. Follow your hosts’ lead and write down their preferences.
When asked to pass something, only take it if you are closest to the item, unless specifically asked to pass. When asked to pass the salt or pepper, the correct thing is to pass them together. Don’t help yourself to food or condiments as you pass them. Wait until the person asking has used them, then request them for yourself.
Butter should be placed on the side of the plate when it’s your turn, not on the bread or food. Use butter from your dish to discourage contamination of the butter container with food. Don’t use salt and pepper until you’ve tasted the food first. Many cooks are sensitive to this. They have already seasoned the food and you should always try it first. It may not need any additional seasoning.
Many rules of table etiquette have been taught to children for generations. Don’t rush to eat. Take your time and have lots of conversations. Follow good table manners: don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t eat loudly (drinking, munching), and be sure to say please and thank you. Don’t blow your nose, put on makeup, or make a table call. If you need to leave the table, apologise. Other than that, don’t get up until your host does. Your cell phone should be set to vibrate, or better yet, turned off.
There are many more specific etiquette rules, such as how to eat soup properly or which foods are okay to eat with your fingers and which are not. For most though, the best course of action is to play it safe and follow the directions of other diners. Even a little common sense will go a long way. If you make a mistake, apologize and move on. Table etiquette is not difficult and knowing how to use it will make a good impression on the hosts.
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