Age is not the only factor in deciding if one is ready for marriage. Emotional maturity, self-actualization, and a desire for adult-level responsibility are important. Legal marriage offers protective measures, but should not be rushed due to family or peer pressure. Trust and intimacy are necessary before considering marriage.
It’s never easy to gauge how prepared you’ll be for any life-changing event: the loss of a parent, moving house, or even getting married. Some people may feel completely prepared to get married at age 18, only to discover how much trust, sacrifice, and maturity actually goes into a successful marriage. Others may not feel ready by age 35, only to be surprised by their innate ability to make a lifetime partnership work. What often matters more than chronological age is a combination of emotional maturity, self-actualization, and a desire to move into a new phase of adult-level responsibility.
Some people put off getting married until they’ve achieved a number of personal goals, such as pursuing higher education, finding a starter job, or establishing an independent lifestyle. Getting married before you have an opportunity to establish your adult identity can lead to an atmosphere of resentment or frustration during the early years of marriage. It’s important to ask yourself if you’re satisfied with your accomplishments as a single adult and are you ready to share your life with another person on such a journey of self-discovery. Marriage doesn’t have to mean abandoning your individual goals or aspirations, but it can mean learning to play a supportive rather than a guiding role.
Living together without the legal benefits of marriage may seem like an attractive option, but it often creates more problems than it solves. A legal union offers couples a number of protective measures not available to couples who simply live together. If you’ve been in a harmonious and exclusive relationship for a number of years, you should have developed the level of intimacy necessary for marriage. On the other hand, if you’ve only been in a serious relationship for several months and haven’t developed some level of trust, you may want to wait until you’ve weathered a few storms as a couple. A marriage won’t magically save a troubled relationship, so be realistic if your current relationship continues to be very hot and cold.
Couples who have achieved a certain level of intimacy and trust may be able to discuss marriage very easily. They can openly discuss the pros and cons of marriage and even agree that they may not be ready to take that step yet. If you and your partner are finding it difficult to broach the subject rationally, then you may want to avoid taking your relationship to that level. Many couples who enter into successful marriages feel it was a natural progression of a deeper and deeper relationship. No one should get married because of family or peer pressure.
If you believe that you have found someone who is in tune with your true personality and is able to maintain a long-term commitment, then it is very likely that you are as ready to get married as anyone else you know. As long as you realize that it takes a lot of hard work, some compromise, and a deep sense of trust, then there should be little reason to put off enjoying the benefits of legal marriage.
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