Should Children Help with Household Chores? Experts Weigh In.
Requiring a child to do household chores is a matter of debate and lots of advice. Some believe that children shouldn’t do household chores. They follow the line of thought that the child was not born to cook and clean for himself or his parents. On the other hand, many parenting and childhood experts believe that a child benefits from regular homework assignments. They give the child a greater sense of responsibility, importance and self-reliance and also prepare him for the inevitable demands of caring for and cleaning up when he lives alone.
However, most parenting experts agree that household chores should fit the child. A five-year-old, for example, probably shouldn’t be doing the dishes and taking out the trash. However, this age child should be responsible for picking up toys, taking laundry to the dry cleaners, and trying to keep the house tidy. In fact, young children are usually quite receptive to chores because they then do what mom or dad does, and that helps them feel more grown up.
As your child gets older, many experts consider giving him more responsible household chores, like washing the dishes, walking the dog, or vacuuming. However, children can become resistant to these tasks, and not all of this is mere childish stubbornness. As children get older, they also have more responsibilities at school. The average middle school student can spend up to two hours a night on homework, in addition to attending at least six hours of school.
If your child has other activities after school, the time left to do chores may be relatively short. Therefore, adding more responsibilities can make the child non-compliant or at least resistant. A parent should assess the amount of work a child already does and plan chores appropriately. Perhaps more chores on the weekend, instead of study weekdays, can be helpful. A parent should emphasize the nature of living together as a family. Sometimes the whole family helps clean up a mess, and sometimes one family member helps a little more than another because of the scheduling.
If a parent doesn’t like to load more homework onto an already overworked teen, they might consider assigning summer homework but keeping it light during the school year. Alternatively, some families take a 15-minute “retreat” every night: They take 15 minutes to put toys away, dust and clean up after meals. This limits work time and involves the whole family.
Chores are not a punishment and should not be used as such. They are a teaching tool to prepare a child to take care of himself someday. So chores should vary. A child who has been washing dishes for five years may not know how to boil water. Parents should alternate chores, provide variety, and be sure to model for their children that they also have responsibilities. If a parent does not do household chores in front of his child and does not keep the house clean, the child is unlikely to find a reason or desire to do them himself.
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