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Narcissistic traits can include a desire for attention, feelings of superiority, and jealousy, but not everyone with these traits has a personality disorder. Narcissists may also have low self-esteem and struggle with criticism. Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder involves psychotherapy and medication, but stigma can prevent people from seeking help.
There are both overt, superficial symptoms of narcissism and less overt underlying personality traits of people with narcissism or narcissistic tendencies. For example, a narcissistic friend may publicly exaggerate his successes with others, but privately address low self-esteem. He can expect praise from everyone, but he secretly feels he doesn’t deserve it. Note that not everyone who displays narcissistic tendencies has narcissistic personality disorder or even diagnosable narcissism. Only a health care professional experienced in mental disorders and personality disorders can diagnose a person with narcissistic personality disorder.
A narcissistic friend may see himself as superior to others, or in some way more special or better than others, and will strive to make others recognize this and feel inferior to him. He may strive to be the center of attention and believe that other people, be they family, friends or colleagues, should follow his example or his plans. At times, this friend may show extreme jealousy towards others or believe that others are jealous of him.
At the same time, a narcissist might have low or fragile self-esteem. He may have trouble accepting criticism, or he may feel embarrassed or ashamed of some aspect of himself or his life that he doesn’t share. Usually, people with narcissism are easily hurt and feel rejection strongly. A narcissist who does not outwardly display these symptoms might seem deadpan or somewhat aloof. However, typically these are symptoms that he keeps hidden from others, so his friends and even family members may not be aware of them.
It is possible to exhibit narcissistic personality traits without having diagnosable narcissistic personality disorder. From time to time, perfectly healthy people fantasize that they have more power than they actually do, get jealous of others, or set unrealistic goals. Such behaviors do not mean that people have a personality disorder.
Generally, people who have diagnosable narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder exhibit these attitudes or behaviors on a regular basis. They have symptoms of narcissism that compromise their life in some way. Their relationships or jobs suffer, they start abusing drugs or alcohol, or entertain thoughts of suicide. So, a narcissistic friend may be one who sometimes takes advantage of others or misses other people’s feelings and emotions, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have a full-blown diagnosable personality disorder. He could simply have narcissistic traits or a subclinical type of narcissism.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder is usually a blend of psychotherapy and medication. However, prompting a narcissistic friend to see a doctor is not the same as prompting a friend who has just broken his hand to visit the emergency room. Unfortunately, mental health stigma and other societal nuances still keep many people from seeking treatment. However, if certain symptoms or side effects of narcissistic traits arise, such as depression, substance abuse, or suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative that the friend seek help. In situations with such extreme symptoms, family members and other friends may consider intervention.
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