Blended families often desire new holiday traditions, but introducing them can be difficult. Gradually starting new traditions and negotiating with older children can help build connections with a new united family.
As the number of blended and second families increases, the desire for new holiday traditions grows. New stepfathers are often eager to bond with their stepchildren by creating new traditions as a fledgling family. However, this is not always an easy process, as the introduction of new traditions can also signal the end of old traditions established by a family that no longer exists or has been permanently altered by circumstances beyond a child’s control.
One way to start new traditions around the holidays is to simply start them. As long as the new traditions aren’t radical departures from previous family traditions, you should be able to implement some new ideas fairly easily. It could simply be a matter of hanging a new wreath on the door or baking decorative cookies and gifting them to neighbors. There is no need for an explanation or discussion of certain new traditions, just a demonstrated interest in completing the project.
A stepfather or single parent with a new romantic partner may need to gradually start certain new traditions. Children need time to adjust to blended families, so don’t expect immediate acceptance of someone else’s new traditions. If a child still wants to hang a deceased or divorced parent’s favorite ornament, for example, she should have that option along with new traditions introduced over time by a new family. When children are ready for new traditions, they will often let new parents know in very subtle ways. A new parent can simply leave a box of ornaments outdoors and let the kids decide when it’s time to let loose.
Starting some new traditions may require a little negotiation between new parents and their blended families. A parent might want to ask older children if it’s okay to use another tree-topper with sentimental value, or spend more time at a new relative’s house during the holidays. If a new parent has old family movies or photographs that depict the suggested new traditions in action, children may have an easier time accepting the changes. Creating new traditions shouldn’t be seen as an overnight thing, but as a positive, long-term way to build new connections with a new united family.
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