Parents fear their children will misbehave in restaurants, so they should teach table manners through leading by example, role-play, and formal meals. Books and videos can also help, and correcting misbehavior is important. Consistency and praise are key to successful etiquette education.
A universal fear among parents is that their children will behave so badly in a restaurant or dinner party that their only recourse is a hasty exit. A child’s table manners are often seen as a social litmus test of parental etiquette education, and no one wants to fall short of that score. There are several ways parents can teach their children about table manners and table etiquette, although there may be a temporary disconnect between theory and practice until children become more mature and self-aware.
One of the best ways to teach good table manners is to lead by example. Even the youngest children in a family can imitate exceptionally well and will copy their parents’ behavior literally. While casual dining at home doesn’t always require the same table manners as a full-service restaurant, parents should maintain some consistency in their table manners. Some meals can be designated as more formal than others so children will know what would be expected of them. A parent might say that the family will eat as if they were at a family gathering at their grandmother’s house, for example.
For such training opportunities, the dinner table should be set in a formal fashion, complete with water glasses, drink glasses, cloth napkins, silverware, and real dinner plates. Foods should have appropriate serving tools and should be served communally to encourage children to serve themselves adequate portions and ask politely for second helpings. Again, parents should lead by example, passing various appetizers and sides, or serving portions to younger children. Older children should be encouraged to ask for their drinks to be refilled or to request a particular dish to be passed for main courses. Reaching over other people’s plates or other bad table manners should be discouraged.
Children also respond well to role-play, so a parent might want to host a special tea party or formal dinner with the dolls as special guests. A child can learn to host a dinner party or become an exceptionally polite host. Older children may want to play the role for real at a real family dinner. They can learn how to set up a formal setting, serve their guests, clear the table, and other hospitality skills. While sitting at the table, parents can observe how their children are behaving and correct them privately.
There are also books and videos available that teach children basic table etiquette and table manners. These learning materials can be used to integrate real-life training into real-time situations. If a child misbehaves in a public restaurant, a parent shouldn’t hesitate to correct him as soon as possible. Going to a restaurant or formal dinner can cause some children to become overexcited and overwhelmed, so they may not even be aware of how inappropriate their behavior is. A brief scolding should be enough to help a child refocus her energies.
As children become more familiar with their surroundings and gain a better understanding of what is expected of them, they should improve their table manners over time. Some children learn good table manners at an early age, while others still feel compelled to embarrass their parents well into their teens. All a parent can do is stay consistent with the education of etiquette and praise their children whenever they behave responsibly.
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