The phrase “could have should have” refers to regret or afterthought about possible options that were not taken. It involves subjunctive moods and wishful thinking. It is common in situations where a better course of action is only discovered after the fact. However, it can lead to an endless cycle of blaming oneself and it’s best to make the best possible decision under the circumstances.
For many people there is a clear distinction between what actually happened and what they would have liked to have happened in a given situation. Sometimes, people become aware of a number of options they could have or should have taken instead of the action they actually took. This feeling of regret or afterthought is summed up in the expression could have should have. A man who handed his wallet to a robber, for example, might wonder whether he would have been smarter to flee the scene, might have attacked the robber, or should he have refused to comply.
The expression is actually an informal rendering of three conditions: would have, could have and should have. These are considered subjunctive moods, because they involve possible or theoretical conditions, otherwise known as wishful thinking. The robbery victim allegedly ran away, she might have attacked the robber, or she might have drawn attention to herself, but none of these conditions actually occurred.
“Should have” circumstances are more common than many people would like to admit. A nervous teenager asking a girl out on a date may remain speechless on the phone, but later realizes what he may have asked her during the conversation. An employee who explains to his boss why an important project is still incomplete may offer an ineffective answer to why he hasn’t. For those seeking concrete answers, a “could have should” response translates as a defensive dodge.
Some people don’t respond well to hypothetical or subjunctive reasoning, which is why they may use this phrase to express their disappointment or frustration. Any use of the words would, could, or should have in relation to a situation that seemed to require outright action could easily trigger a ridicule response. Sometimes, a better course of action or more informed decision is only discovered after the fact, leading to a series of punishing conjectures.
Questioning a decision or exploring other possible responses after the fact isn’t always a bad idea, but it’s possible to get so caught up in paths not followed that a person can get caught in an endless cycle of “should have” blamed Assignment. Sometimes, it’s best to make the best possible decision under the circumstances and leave the rethinking and rehashing for another time.
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