Meltdowns are common for children with special needs and can be triggered by stress, anxiety, or exhaustion. Unlike tantrums, they are not a tactic to get what they want. Parents should identify triggers and seek professional help to teach coping strategies.
Picture this: A mom picks up her eight-year-old daughter from school. When the car doors close and the seat belts are fastened, the withdrawal stories begin. Then, without warning, this sweet girl starts crying wildly, thrashing on her seat, biting and scratching herself. Mom wonders, what just happened?
This scenario is a regular occurrence for most parents who have children with special needs. These episodes are now referred to as “breakdowns” by various medical professionals, educators, and parents of children with special needs. While the term meltdown is usually used in reference to a child with special needs, even generally functioning children or adults can occur from time to time.
So what’s the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum? Most children go through a phase where tantrums are the order of the day. At this stage of development, a tantrum is usually the result of not getting something they want. The tactic of a tantrum usually wanes as the child enters elementary school. For children who have special needs, physical or emotional, the act of a meltdown isn’t about using a tactic; it is a symptom that signals that something deeper is going on. That’s not to say kids with special needs don’t throw tantrums — they do, and they know how and when to use them. However, it’s important to realize that there is a difference between the two episodes.
A meltdown usually occurs when the child is under stress, anxious, or exhausted by the day’s happenings. Most people learn to respond to their environment and regulate their emotions. When something unexpected, stressful or negative happens, we deal with it and are therefore able to bring our emotions back into a “normal” range. When a child has difficulty responding to her environment, whether for physical or emotional reasons, it can be difficult to return to a state of normalcy. Once a stressful event has occurred, the child is unable to regain a state of emotional balance. For children with special needs, a stressful event can be something simple, such as the light might be too bright or the classroom volume might be too loud. Each event and reaction continues to grow throughout the day. The emotional state of these children can often resemble a roller coaster ride that never completely stops. Once a child is no longer able to hold it together, breakdown ensues.
So what can you do if your child is experiencing a meltdown? He becomes a detective. Take note of when meltdowns occur. He looks for patterns and triggers. Take note of the activities they are engaged in and the time of day or night. Also consider what foods were eaten during the day. Once you’ve identified your triggers, avoid them as much as possible. Talk to a professional who can help teach you and your child coping strategies. Perhaps more importantly, be patient and remember that you are not alone.
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