Choosing a trustworthy confidant can be difficult, but it’s important to consider whether your secret will be safe. Professionals who deal with sensitive information are usually reliable, while friends who gossip or are impulsive may not be. Keeping a promise to keep a secret is vital for maintaining trust in a friendship, but there are some situations where breaking a secret is necessary to help someone in need.
The term “confidant” is often used to describe a person who has been entrusted with sensitive or private personal information. Everyone needs a confidant, but choosing a reliable person to share your secrets with can be a difficult task. Unfortunately, the ability to keep a secret is simply not a trait that everyone possesses. If you feel the need to divulge details about your personal life, it’s a good idea to take some time to consider whether your secret will be safe.
For some people, the ability to keep a secret is an absolutely vital part of their professional integrity. Doctors have to work with private medical information on a daily basis. Even lawyers are often privy to secrets. By the very nature of their professions, priests and psychiatrists must be trustworthy confidants. If you share your secret with someone who deals with sensitive information as part of their job, you can be reasonably sure of your privacy.
The average person, however, may be less likely to act as a trustworthy confidant. Before you share a secret with a friend, ask yourself if they’ve been responsible in the past. If your friend is best described as rash and impulsive, think twice before sharing your secret. A friend who regularly gossips about a mutual acquaintance is also a bad choice to share your secrets with. The best confidant is a friend who is both sensitive and emphatic.
When asked to keep a secret as a confidant, take your promise seriously. If you’re tempted to share the secret with someone else, ask yourself how you would feel if your friend divulges your personal information. Trust and accountability are the cornerstones of a successful friendship. If you don’t keep a friend’s secret, however, it’s best to confess your mistake and apologize accordingly. Denying any wrongdoing is a surefire way to permanently destroy a friendship.
Of course, there are some secrets no confidant should keep. In certain situations, the moral obligation to do the right thing outweighs the importance of keeping a secret. A teenage girl who confesses to her best friend that she’s worried she has a drug or alcohol problem is asking for help. Likewise, anyone who tells you she’s contemplating suicide really doesn’t need you to keep her secret about her. Breaking a trust is a small price to pay when you are potentially saving someone’s life.
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