“Fag hag” is a slang term for a heterosexual woman who is close friends with one or more gay men. It was originally an insult but is now used self-referentially or by the LGBTQ+ community. Some women cultivate these friendships for safety or common interests. The term combines two offensive epithets, and other similar terms have been co-opted from offensive slang. It’s important to be careful when using this term and to avoid it if not a member or ally of the LGBTQ+ community.
The slang term “fag hag” is used to describe a woman, usually heterosexual, who has a close friendship with one or more gay men. This slang term is a bit slippery and quite curious, as it combines two epithets that are usually considered offensive, and was in fact originally used as an insult. Today, the term is usually used self-referentially, or by members of the gay and lesbian community, and the use of this slang by outsiders may only be considered marginally appropriate.
Fag witches can date homosexual men for a variety of reasons. Some women just happen to hook up with gay men because they feel they have a lot in common, while others may actively cultivate friendships with gay men because they see these relationships as safe from sexual drama and tension. Some people accuse fag witches of being secretly in love with their gay friends, suggesting that women befriend gay men with the goal of converting them.
The slang term “faggot” for a gay man is generally thought to be highly inappropriate. It comes from “faggot”, another slang term for a gay man, and has been in use since the early 20th century. “Hag” is an abusive term used to describe women, usually in the sense of being ugly, cruel, old, or aggressive. Combining both of these offensive pejoratives into a single epithet that is often used affectionately is a bit confusing. “Fag hag” likely reflects the desire of the gay and lesbian community to co-opt terms that have historically been used offensively.
You may also hear a fag witch referred to as a homo fruit or honey loop, which illustrates a few other examples of co-opting offensive slang terms. People who enjoy dating gays and lesbians in general may be called fruit flies, while men who form friendships with gay women are known as Dutch guys, for reasons that remain obscure. A number of stereotypes surround fag witches, belying the diversity of friendships between gay and lesbian and the straight community.
As with other terms that have very negative connotations, it’s important to tread carefully when using “fag hag” to describe someone. As a general rule, unless a woman explicitly identifies as a fag witch, the term shouldn’t be used. People who are not allies or members of the gay and lesbian community may want to avoid this particular jargon altogether.
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