Guilt trips can be self-generated or passed on to others, and can range from fleeting feelings of shame to overwhelming remorse. Some people use guilt to gain control, while survivors of traumatic events may struggle with guilt for a lifetime.
A guilt trip is a feeling of deep regret or remorse that can be passed on to another person or self-generated. If you’ve successfully guilt-tripped someone, you’ve put that person on a guilt trip. It’s even possible to wear one if you let a guilty conscience get the best of you. A certain amount of guilt is healthy for our society as a whole, but when the feelings of guilt are too much to bear, the person is said to be on a guilt trip.
An expression likely coined in the late 1960s, the idea arose at a time when many people in the Western world were examining their inner consciousness and emotions. The discipline of psychology entered its heyday as every citizen had to take responsibility for their own emotions and feelings of guilt. People have started to understand that other people’s motives for trying to make you feel guilty are irrelevant. The expression said something like, “Hey man, don’t make me feel guilty!”
There are many levels of guilt. That fleeting feeling of shame when your spouse asks you for the third time to take out the trash might satisfy the classification. Or, a dangerous secret you don’t dare reveal could make you feel guilty. At the other end of the spectrum, it can be the overwhelming sadness and remorse of causing a fatal accident, or the deep regret of betraying someone you care about.
Some people are experts at making other people feel guilty to gain control. The classic example is a mother who manipulates her child’s behavior by inducing feelings of guilt. She might tell the child that she hasn’t lived up to her best side of herself and she is disappointed. The emotion of shame can also play into the mix of feelings, and inducing shame can be a very persuasive way to make someone feel guilty.
Survivors of a traumatic event, such as a plane crash or natural disaster, can be filled with such emotions that the guilt can last a lifetime. They may obsess over the event and wonder why they were worth saving. It can take many years of counseling to begin dealing with guilt of this magnitude, and some people are never able to get over a guilt trip with such deeply ingrained emotions.
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