Matchmakers arrange marriages in many cultures, with some using astrology or horoscopes. They ensure compatibility between families and can be more important than the compatibility of the couple. Matchmaking has been discouraged or banned in some cases, but it remains an important part of marriage customs in many cultures. While some view matchmakers as repressive, they can play a vital role in securing the future of the couple and their family.
A matchmaker is a person who seeks to arrange marriages, whether in an official or unofficial capacity. Many cultures use matchmakers as a serious means of determining appropriate marriages for community members. Occasionally, matchmakers have a reputation for being busybodies or mercenaries, but many believe they are an essential and beneficial part of a culture and help secure the future of community, family values and traditions.
In Jewish tradition, matchmakers are occasionally called yentas, a misnomer that may derive from the popular play and film, Fiddler on the Roof. In that story, the matchmaker is named Yenta, which is actually a Yiddish word for “busy.” Orthodox Jewish communities have used matchmakers, or shadchans, for centuries to ensure the best matches between families.
In cultures where arranged marriages are still a big part of the tradition, matchmaking is serious work. While in modern times, the two families are responsible for uniting the young couple, an outside party can still play an important role. In some Hindu and Chinese traditions, matchmaking may be based in part on astrology and horoscope. If a bad match is indicated by the year or month singles were born, it is often discouraged and sometimes forbidden.
Finding out the compatibility and suitability of the two families involved is an important part of a matchmaker’s job. Typically, matchmaking takes place in cultures where family unity is a highly valued concept and divorce is often seriously despised. The matchmaker is tasked with uniting the two families peacefully and permanently, so the relationship between the two groups is sometimes even more important than the compatibility of the couple. This theory has considerable psychological evidence to support its veracity, as many experts believe that one of the best indications of how well a couple will get along is how well their families like each other.
Until recently, matchmaker decisions were far from inviolate, with individuals going against them at their own risk. Typically, couples who had wide variability in economic or social standing were discouraged or even banned. This has led global culture to a large number of portrayals of star-crossed lovers, marrying or staying together despite social pressure. Romeo and Juliet, Pyramus and Thisbe, and the two figures of Japan’s Tanabata festival are all forbidden lovers who met their fates while ignoring the advice of the matchmaking community and their families.
Understandably in cultures that favor the concepts of romantic love and personal freedom, the matchmaker is often looked down upon as a symbol of repression and cynicism. Indeed, they can play a vital role in the future happiness of the couple and their family. While securing the similar goals, concepts and plans of a potential marriage cannot guarantee a successful marriage, it can be a very good idea and the loving couple cannot always be trusted to take care of themselves. While the matchmaker’s role has primarily changed from a decision maker to a mere facilitator, they continue to hold an important role in the marriage customs of many cultures. Matchmaking services have also voluntarily become sought after by busy professionals who have not taken the time to search for a compatible partner.
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