May-December romances involve partners with a significant age difference, and have been present throughout history. Healthy relationships challenge social conventions, while unhealthy ones may involve manipulation or emotional issues. Successful celebrity examples include Tony Randall, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy.
Many people pursue romantic relationships with partners who are a few years their own age. There are those, however, who choose to pursue a romantic relationship in which there is a significant age difference, at least ten years or more. Such a relationship is known as a May-December romance. The younger partner is said to be in the spring or “May” season of her life, while the older partner is in the winter or “December” season of her life. This may be a relative comparison, however, as the older partner may only be 40 and dating a person in their 20s. Some modern social etiquette experts suggest replacing the term “May-December novel” with the more politically correct “age gap novel.”
There have been a number of notable May–December romances throughout history, especially during times when marriages were arranged more for political or social reasons rather than the relative ages of the married couples. An older monarch, for example, might have married a teenage heir to the throne of a particular nation.
Poor parents may have betrothed their young daughters to older suitors to secure their financial or social future. These types of arranged marriages, however, were rarely based on actual physical or emotional attraction. A healthy May-December romance often involves two people who feel very compatible and share a number of mutual interests.
On the plus side, a healthy May-December relationship is generally successful because both partners challenge the social conventions associated with their own age groups. The younger partner, for example, often demonstrates more maturity than his peers. The older partner is not necessarily less mature than their peers, but may still be interested in activities typically associated with a younger group. A young but mature person may find it difficult to date within their own age range, and an older but spirited person may find it difficult to relate to their aging peers. The older partner in a solid May-December romance may share their life experiences with a lively younger love interest, and the younger partner may benefit from spending time with a more stable and intellectually compatible.
However, there are some negative connotations associated with an unhealthy May-December romance. An older person may target a younger, less experienced romantic partner to satisfy their own selfish needs. He may not be able to form healthy relationships with people closer to his age than her, so he will look for someone who can be more easily manipulated or exploited. A younger person may have some emotional issues which lead them to pursue a much older partner for unhealthy reasons. He or she might seek acceptance or approval from an older parent, for example, and pursue a romantic relationship with a much older partner. An older person may be trying to recapture the emotions associated with her youth, so she may pursue a relationship between May and December to feel vital or youthful again.
There are a number of celebrities and other public figures who had successful romances between May and December. The late actor Tony Randall, for example, married a very young co-star when he was in his 70s and even fathered a child with her before her death. Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones married actor Michael Douglas, who was more than 20 years her senior. On- and off-screen romantic couple Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy also maintained a strong May-December romance for several decades. Actors Nicolas Cage and Kevin Costner also married much younger women, while actress Demi Moore married a much younger model/actor Ashton Kutcher. When two people of different age groups are compatible emotionally, physically, and intellectually, the age gap often becomes irrelevant.
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