Narcissistic relationships can be damaging to non-narcissistic partners, as the narcissist demands excessive attention and validation while ignoring their partner’s needs. Narcissists lack self-validation and empathy, and may choose partners based on desired qualities or possessions. This dynamic can occur in various types of relationships and may lead to emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.
A narcissistic relationship, in which one partner suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, can often be very damaging to the non-narcissistic partner. Narcissistic personality disorder typically leaves its victims unable to cultivate a true inner sense of self, to the point where they depend heavily on the attention of others to feel important, unique, and special. As a result, the narcissistic partner in the relationship will generally demand large amounts of time and attention from the other partner, while completely ignoring that partner’s needs, wants, and identity. The typical narcissist believes that his partner’s only duty in life is to shower him with attention, negative or positive, and to satisfy all of her needs. The narcissistic relationship can therefore be very draining for the non-narcissistic partner and can even lead to long-term psychological consequences for that partner, as these relationships typically involve emotional, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse.
Psychologists believe that people with narcissism feel a strong need to be admired, flattered, praised, and wanted. In a narcissistic relationship, the narcissist will generally demand excessive and unending praise from the non-narcissistic partner. The narcissistic partner, however, will typically remain emotionally distant from the other partner, likely because the narcissist is incapable of feeling such feelings as empathy or compassion. Validation behaviors by the narcissistic individual in such a relationship generally occur when the narcissist feels validated and admired by sources outside the relationship, or when the narcissist begins to fear losing the relationship and the constant source of validation it provides. Experts believe that this dynamic may apply not only to the romantic narcissistic relationship, but also to the filial, professional, or platonic narcissistic relationship.
The typical narcissist lacks the ability to self-validate or assert themselves. They are generally very self-centered and unable to recognize or understand the valid needs of others. The interpersonal boundaries of others typically mean very little to them, while their need for recognition generally takes center stage in their minds.
The demands a narcissist may make of a partner can often, however, extend beyond the emotional. Narcissists often choose relationship partners who possess skills, qualities, or possessions that they themselves desire, as they may feel that they can somehow own a partner’s beauty, wealth, achievements, or status. Many narcissists, however, cannot perform the day-to-day tasks needed to function well in society. They often rely on a partner, friend or relative to meet these practical needs.
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