Perception control is a conflict resolution method that involves objective evaluation, hypothetical reasons, and direct questions to assess a situation. It can be used by managers and parents to maintain respectful relationships and avoid misunderstandings.
Ending conflicts in a calm way can go a long way in making life much more enjoyable for everyone. An established strategy for achieving solid results with less stress is called perception control, which involves earning respect through measured analysis. The form of the exchange varies according to the situation, but generally involves an objective evaluation, followed by two hypothetical reasons for the misunderstanding, then a direct question about a person’s behaviour.
Just as two people can see the same glass of water as half full or half empty, each person’s perception can lead to incorrect assumptions about the other and their intentions. Sometimes, assumptions are correct; other times, they are completely wrong and a potential conflict trigger. To avoid this pitfall, a perception check allows you to assess a situation by waving a flag of faith for those involved.
Perception control is a common conflict resolution method taught to managers and parents to maintain relationships that should be respectful and consistently constructive. For example, a boss may suppress the urge to immediately reprimand an employee who missed a deadline on a project. Instead the boss could use a friendly note: “It’s Wednesday, the day after the deadline. Did you have trouble filling all the holes or did your dog eat it? When can I get it?”
Handling the situation with a perception check, this manager asked the employee the necessary questions, leaving the door open for legitimate justifications. The employee will tell the boss exactly what happened to delay the project, but not in response to an angry but respectful request. For example, the employee may have had the project ready in plenty of time but was still awaiting delivery from a printer, which the employee used to ensure a more expert presentation. In this case, a reward, not a reprimand, may be deserved.
Parents could use the same approach to great effect, but also those on an equal footing to promote the calmest possible environment. One housemate might ask another to clean the pool. The next day, when the pool remains uncleaned, the requesting housemate may complain that her housemate is a lazy bum who won’t pull her weight. He might even say, “The pool is still a mess. Has it rained since my departure or is the pump broken? When do you clean it?” A perception check like this might be just the slight nudge needed for the average person with a conscience to act respectfully.
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