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What’s a plea for attention?

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Attention-seeking behavior can be a sign of emotional distress or a health problem, especially in preverbal children. Positive attention can reinforce desirable behaviors, while negative attention can reinforce negative behaviors. In adolescents and adults, attention-seeking behavior can take many forms, including self-harm and suicide attempts. It can be difficult to balance the desire to avoid rewarding attention-seeking behavior with the risk of ignoring a legitimate issue. Seeking help from a counselor may be a good option.

A cry for attention is an activity designed to get the attention of friends, family, or strangers. Children, especially preverbal children, may use shouting for attention as a form of communication before they learn more effective communication strategies. It can be associated with an emotional disturbance or a period of stress, or it can be a behavioral problem. In cases where the attention-seeking behavior becomes excessive or negative in nature, therapy may need to be considered to treat it and get to the underlying problem causing the behavior.

This term is sometimes used disparagingly, but a cry for attention can be a sign of a health problem. Infants, for example, cannot communicate sensations and emotions orally and may cry from a wet diaper, from hunger or from the simple desire to be hugged. As children develop, they seek attention and feedback from the people around them. Parents and caregivers may inadvertently reward negative attention-seeking behaviors, encouraging children to continue to engage them.

Positive attention can affirm desirable behaviors, such as being polite, staying silent, waiting, or sharing. This comes in the form of interacting with well-behaved children; a teacher might tell class members that they sit quietly during the activity and this is appreciated, for example. Conversely, when a child misbehaves and receives attention for it, this is known as negative attention and can reinforce the behavior because the child has received the desired attention. The best response to negative behaviors may be to ignore them.

In adolescents and adults, a cry for attention can take many forms. People may seek affirmation and support by bragging, exaggerating situations, or claiming emotional devastation; for example, someone might threaten to commit suicide or file for divorce in a heated argument. These behaviors are designed to elicit attention rather than be serious threats and are sometimes associated with psychiatric disorders.

Self-harming behavior and suicide attempts are sometimes classified as attention-seeking under the argument that people engage in them in the hope that someone will try to stop them. This is not necessarily the case; patients may be shy and embarrassed about, for example, scars or other signs of self-harm and may hide them from others. Likewise, they cannot discuss suicide plans or failed suicide attempts. People who hide signs of emotional distress do not engage in attention-seeking behaviors.

It can be difficult to balance the desire to avoid rewarding a request for attention with the risk that a legitimate issue might be ignored. People who threaten suicide, for example, might seek help because they don’t actually want to commit suicide or want assistance with a situation that seems overwhelming. Ignoring them on the grounds that their behavior shouldn’t be rewarded may be ill-advised. One option is to advise people showing signs of distress to consider seeing a counselor to discuss the situation with a neutral party who can provide help.

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