Jumping into a new relationship after a breakup, known as a rebound, is often a bad idea. Both parties need time to grieve and heal before pursuing new relationships. Rebound relationships can be motivated by a desire to make an ex-partner jealous or to avoid dealing with negative emotions. It’s important to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and seek counseling if needed.
After a painful romantic breakup, some people jump into a new relationship almost immediately, often with less-than-stellar results. Dating too soon after an emotionally charged breakup is known as a rebound relationship and is almost always considered a bad idea for all parties involved. A person in recovery may have great difficulty distinguishing between the old romantic partner and the new one, for example.
Whenever a romantic relationship ends, whether amicably or painfully, both parties should allow themselves to go through an actual grieving process before pursuing new relationships. In essence, there has been a “death” of a treasured relationship, and few people can recover from such an injury in a matter of days or weeks. While the prospect of dating someone new, especially someone who was kept off-limits during the old relationship, may feel like a cure, it rarely ends well.
Another problem with rebound relationships is motivation. Some people who feel victimized or humiliated by a bad breakup may feel the need to start a new relationship simply to show that they are really over the old one. This action is often directed primarily at ex-partners, in an attempt to generate feelings of jealousy or to remind them of what they have given up. No tactic is a particularly healthy reason to pursue a relationship, and the new partner isn’t always as understanding or conspiratorial as one might hope.
There are times when a person may feel that they have fully recovered from a breakup and are really ready to get back into the dating scene, but this may be a premature assessment. If a new relationship begins too soon after a painful breakup, the new partner may become little more than a sounding board for all the negatives intended for the former partner. Constant comparisons with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend can be a sign of an unhealthy rebound relationship, as can the careful avoidance of nearly all dating venues associated with the previous relationship.
Since there will almost inevitably be a new relationship after the dissolution of an old one, it’s important to recognize the difference between a healthy new relationship and an unhealthy rebound one. Just like a widow or widower, a rejected partner may want to take a reasonable break from dating until they’re emotionally ready. Personal counseling can also help prevent someone from entering a superficial or unhealthy relationship until their self-esteem has been fully restored.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to seek companionship after a painful breakup, but individuals owe it to themselves and their new partner to make sure the new relationship is based in reality, not a ghost in the car.
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