A serial monogamist has many partners but only one at a time, with a superficial commitment. Fear of commitment and childhood influences play a role. True monogamy is rare, and changing the serial monogamist’s behavior is often futile. Psychological help may be necessary.
A serial monogamist is someone who has many sexual partners in their life, but only one at a time. He or she will apparently form what looks like a lasting commitment to one person, but the commitment is usually only superficial. Some of these people are unable to commit for an extended period of time. The union can be through marriage or a more casual relationship.
Usually, the serial monogamist is aware of the pattern he follows, and any relationship can be entered into with a How long will this one last? mood. This doesn’t mean that they don’t try to commit, but it seems that commitment isn’t something the person feels comfortable with. By comparison, true monogamy is a state in which one person remains with another for their entire life.
In the Western world, true monogamy is perhaps becoming less common, as more marriages than ever before separate within three years. Since a serial monogamist may be with a partner for that amount of time or even longer, he may be bothered by etiquette. His relationship may, after all, last longer than some marriages.
Fear of commitment and perfectionism play a big part in the thinking of this type of person. Typically, childhood influences also play a role, and bad role models can give them an inherent fear of commitment. They are unable to cope with family pressure for long periods of time and eventually seek their independence again. If the relationship begins to show problems similar to those observed in childhood, then it will no longer reflect the ideal that the serial monogamist has in his head.
Many people think they can change the way the serial monogamist thinks, but this is sometimes a futile effort. The relationship pattern is often so established that the person can even predict the month or year the breakup will occur. It’s rare for someone to try to end a relationship voluntarily if there’s no problem, but for some serial monogamists, the fear of commitment is out of their control.
Some people find this type of behavior to be a psychological problem. They believe that the only way to deal with such a state of mind is with psychological help. Other people think the term is a loophole that can be used as a way to give weight to their inability to sustain a relationship. Whether it’s a psychological issue or not, it’s usually not a state of mind that most people are happy to live with forever.
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